Something Missing?
Feb. 5th, 2005 05:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
horseboykarlI head back to Wellie, my days with Aunt June having worked their usual magic on my psyche. I know I still have to deal with Éomer, but there’s no hurry with that, now that I’ve pulled myself free of Théodred’s influence. The idea of a winery is intriguing, something I never thought of, but it might be fun. I’m grinning as I ride and I’m in too good a mood to go straight home, I feel like howling at the moon . . .
Hmm, maybe I’ll stop by the Firkin, haven’t seen Gareth in a while. He’s sort of stolen my affection, like a younger brother that I never had. I know I can count on him for an entertaining conversation at the very least, plus he’s reliable enough to pour me into a taxi if I get totally pissed, which is looking like the plan at the moment.
I guide the bike through the quiet suburban streets, and park outside the pub. My leathers are dusty from the back roads and I give them a few slaps with my gloves, trying to look a little more presentable. Finally, I stuff the gloves in my helmet and carry it under my arm into the Firkin. I’ll have Gareth stash it behind the bar till I’m ready to leave.
Gareth: I look up an' nod as I see yeh come through the door. "Howyeh, man, how's it goin'?" Wi' a quick lash a' my j-cloth I wipe down the wood on the bar in front a' where yeh're headed to sit … tho I doan know why I bother, seein' as yeh're completely covered in dirt, head to toe. "Man, look at yeh, destroyin' me beautiful bar! Yeh're a fuckin' mess!" Yeh flash me an apologetic look as yeh hand over yer helmet, but I give yeh a quick wink to let yeh know I'm just messin' wi' yeh. I stuff it down next to the empty bottles on the floor, then flip a pint glass over in my hand as I go to the taps and start to pour yer black an' tan. "Been out for a long ride then?"
Karl: I grin as you start pulling my favorite brew. It really pays to be on good terms with bartenders. "I've been up Hastings way, seeing my aunt, not such a long ride, but lots of dirt roads. Seems I brought most of it back with me, sorry about that."
You set the glass down and I take a long pull, draining about half. "Perfect!" I wipe off my foam mustache. That went a ways to clearing the road dust out of my throat, and the beer here is always so bloody fresh. Guess it doesn't have much time to sit around in the keg . . .
"How've you been? You and Jay?" I'm almost afraid to ask, cause last time I was here you told me about more fanboys gone wrong weirdness.
Gareth: "Things are grand. Better'n grand, really. Jaybird just got a bouncer gig at one a' the clubs where we play a lot … well, yeh know it, it's the Shadowbox, where yeh saw us tha' night." I grin as I add add, "Guess yeh of all people'd know he'd make a fuckin' deadly bouncer."
Course tha's not all the good news. Never told yeh abou' those brutal nightmares, so no use mentionin' that since that last nightmare we've been sleepin' easy. But I'd forgotten wha' it felt like to go to sleep withou' fearin' tha' yeh'd wake up screamin' in a cold sweat -- it's pretty fuckin' incredible. An' yeh didna know abou' his bond tha' left 'im anguished, so I won't tell yeh the relief we both felt when it disappeared. But I do reckon I have some news tha'll please yeh, seein' as yeh've got about as much affection for yer other half as I do. I lean in closer across the bar an' lower my voice so the other punters won't overhear. "So c'mere an' tell me, Karl, have yeh noticed yerself missin' yer horseboy? Or not missin', as the case may be?"
Karl: I'm glad to hear that Jay got a job, but the next thing you say . . . missing my horseboy? Are you talking about Éomer, you must be, but . . . he should be sitting in Rohan waiting for a call that's not going to come until I decide it's time. I try to remember what day is was that I had the fight with Théodred, I don't think it's been seven days since then, anyway, so I should be safe from blondie trying anything for another few days at least. Until he runs out of patience and tries to shift . . . hmm, maybe I should talk to him before that.
But you are grinning and your eyes are dancing, so . . . I pitch my voice as low as yours. "What are you talking about? He doesn't come out anymore unless I call him and I'm not calling him right now, so no, I haven't missed him cause he's being good, for once."
Gareth: "Being good?" I gotta snort at that. "I thought yeh said yer man there was outta control. Doan tell me yeh've gone all soft on 'im, I'd be very disappointed in yeh." Yeh flash me a warnin' glare for my mockin' tone, which just makes me smirk more. I know I probably shouldn't be messin' wi' yeh like this, but if yer situation turns out to be anythin' like mine I reckon yeh'll forgive me. "My elf's gone. Been tryin' to reach 'im for a couple a' days now. An' Elroy's not comin' through to Martin anymore either. It's like their phone's been disconnected or somethin'. So was just wonderin' if it was just us, or if all the lines were down."
Karl: "I had a deal going with him, that he doesn't come through until I call him, in return for me letting him out once a week to screw his cousin."
I've got to think about this. I haven't tried to call him, cause I'm not quite ready to explain the whole problem with Théodred yet. I'm not sure if he eavesdrops the way Théodred does, I don't think so, or he would have been busting through a long time ago.
I laugh at your analogy. "The lines are down? I like that . . . but he has no reason to contact me and I haven't tried to reach him, so I don't know if my lines are down or not."
Gareth: "Yeh let 'im out to screw his cousin?" I shake my head as I snigger disdainfully. "Man, is everbody in Middle-earth a kinky fuck? Wha' the fuck's up wi' tha'?" Maybe these books are a lot more interestin' than they sound -- might explain why Jaybird likes 'em so much -- but this incest thing's just ... I shake my head hard to clear the thought a' Ronan tha' comes to mind. Definitely not sexy.
I turn my attention back to yeh, an' start to draw another black an' tan, seein' as yeh're getting' down to the dregs. "Like I said, man, I doan know if it's just me an' Martin or not. All I know is some freaky stuff's been happenin' an' I ain't surprised by anythin' at all anymore. Might not hurt to give yer man a shout an' see for yerself."
Karl: Your expression is beautiful. "Well, yeah, the cousin thing, can't say I understand it myself . . . but it bought me some peace and quiet for a while." I suck down about half of the new glass you give me.
"That sort of ended when I woke up with extra jewelry on my chest. That will teach me to trust princes . . . Théodred really pissed me off with that and we traded a few insults . . . and some fists." I'm tempted to get your opinion of horseboy's taste in piercings, just for laughs.
"Calling him . . . I don't know about that . . . I'll try it in a few days, he should be thinking he's coming to see Théodred then."
Gareth: My heart skips a beat when you mention Théodred, when I think he might be back an' makin' my boy hurt more. But no, the bond's gone, his as well as mine, it canna be the same thing ... then I remember wha' Jaybird told me tha' night on the roof, how that Theo was gone, an' another had taken his place. This must be the one yeh're talkin' abou', an' wi' that I breathe a lot easier.
"So he took yer body in to be pierced? Tha's bollixed to do tha' withou' yeh knowin'. Tho I bet it looks pretty hot. C'mon, give us a peek then." After a quick glance 'round the pub yeh roll yer shirt up an' look at me sheepishly. I reward yeh wi' a low whistle. "Tha's very nice, man, very nice. Looks real good on yeh." I give yeh a lusty wink as yeh drop yer shirt back down. "Yeh got somebody to help yeh play wi' it? They're lots more fun wi' two people. Not too long ago I would a' offered my services -- anythin' to help out a friend, yeh know." I canna help but smirk, yeh are a fine-lookin' fella an' it'd be my pleasure, "but these days I'm kinda taken." Which is just another way to say I'm smitten, besotted, crazy abou' my boy. But fuck if I wouldn't be game otherwise.
Karl: I can't help but flinch when you mention playing with it. I still haven't adjusted to the sensations it creates yet, a weird mixture of pleasure and . . . not pain, but something else that seems to shoot straight to my dick, just from casual contact. I can't imagine what it would feel like if somebody else touched it, on purpose. "Uh, no, thanks, I'm sure you'd help a friend if you could, but I don't really want anyone touching it right now . . . it's, uh . . . sensitive, I guess."
I finish off my glass and hand it to you for a refill. "Maybe after it heals up completely, I'll find a playmate of my own." I sigh. "Not that I have any prospects, not with a fucking sidekick to keep under wraps."
Gareth: I snicker as yeh get all squirmy on me, lickin' my bottom lip as I pull yeh another pint. But I frown when yeh start whingin' abou' yer lovelife. "Arrah, I know, it's shite, Karl, it truly is. I was mortified tha' Jaybird'd find out abou' the fuckin' elf. Actually I didnatell him, he found out by accident one night when Elladan attacked 'im. Was a real shocker" I slide the fresh pint under yer nose as I smile a' that memory. "But yeh know, Karl, other people, they've got secrets themselves. An' they might not think yers is such a bad thing. Yeh'll never know 'til yeh try." I wink again, an encouragin' wink from a friend this time, not a come on at all. "Besides, a good lookin' fella like yeh are, all alone? Tha's bollix tha' is!"
Karl: "Looks only go so far, mate." And I review the long list of things that have been screwing with my love life, globe trotting for various movies, Éomer, thinking I was crazy, various fights since I got back to Wellie. I shake my head ruefully, "I'm not much of a catch with all the extra shit that I tote around, and not just the shifting."
But when you tell me what happened with Elladan and Jay . . . "That terrifies me . . . having him shift in on someone I care about and hurt them . . . not just the secret aspect of it . . . but I don't understand him, I mean . . . he fucks his cousin, honestly. I'm just not sure what he's going to do and my chest is just one of a fuck load of examples of ways I don't get him."
Gareth: I canna help myself -- I reach over the bar an' give yeh a sharp cuff on the side a' yer head. Nothin' else is gonna break through tha' wall a' pain an' defensiveness yeh've built up 'round yerself. "Jaysus, man, yeh ain't listenin' to a fuckin' word I'm sayin'."
Yeh look up at me in surprise, yer eyes blazin' at my affront. I just shake my head. "Another fella used to come in all the time, sit at that very barstool, an' tell me the worst sob stories yeh ever did hear. An' he had ever reason to be miserable, more reasons than I even knew back then. Said he didna think abou' bein' happy an' shite like that. Sounded a lot like yeh do, moanin' over yer baggage an' all."
"This fella I knew, he figured things out tho. He had all this stuff weighin' him down -- stuff ever bit as big as wha' yeh're totin' – an' he still figured things out. He figured out where he wanted to be, he figured out who he wanted to be wi', he took some big fuckin' chances an' did some fuckin' crazy things. An' it ain't been easy for 'im. But now I reckon he's one a' the happiest fellas I know." Next to myself, anyway.
I canna read yer expression, an' I'm wonderin' whether yeh're gonna tell me to fuck off or whether yeh'll actually, maybe, listen to the bartender's advice like yeh should do. But I canna resist addin', "An' if yeh're gonna keep gettin' all mopey on me, I'm cuttin' yeh off. Canna have yeh cryin' all over me bar like a soppy mot."
Karl: I glare at you for a moment, wondering why everyone seems to want to take a poke at me these days. I always thought I was fairly peaceable, reflective sort. Well . . . mostly.
But I laugh finally, "All right, I must listen to my bartender, that's what you're for. No more moping. So what cure does Dr. Gareth prescribe?" I look around but I don't see any tables, damn, hustling a little pool would have suited me perfectly tonight.
Gareth: I shrug. "I doan know, man, yeh just gotta take a chance. Depends on wha' yeh're into, I reckon. If 'twas me, first thing, I'd see if that fella from Middle-earth's gone. An' even if he ain't, I'd take a good long look 'round 'til I found somebody who might be willin' to put up wi' him for a' shot at a gorgeous fella like myself. I'd probably drag 'em out to see this brilliant Irish band playin' at the Phoenix next Thursday, maybe go check out their hot singer. Or if I couldna find nobody to go wi' me, I'd probably go alone, see if there weren't some talent there to be had." I shrug again, wi' a grin. "But tha's just me."
Karl: take a good long look 'round . . . I remember the man from the bookstore . . . Eric. If Éomer is gone, maybe it's time I took a chance on that offer that he seemed to have in his eyes, maybe it's time I found out if it was my imagination or not. Besides, I know nothing about wine . . . books could be so helpful with that.
"Well . . . there might be a possibility . . . of something. I might see if it's more than a possibility." I'd rather do something a little more low key at first, but . . . "And I'd love to see your band again, I'll be there, date or not."
Gareth: My eyebrow cocks as I watch the small shy smile creep across yer face. Yeh're awfully cute, once yeh lose the gloom. No, I doan reckon yeh'll have too much trouble findin' somebody willin' to put up wi' yeh. I lift my ginger ale an' tip the edge a' yer glass. "Well, here's to yer possibility, man. Tha's how everthin' starts, yeh just gotta take it from there."
Hmm, maybe I’ll stop by the Firkin, haven’t seen Gareth in a while. He’s sort of stolen my affection, like a younger brother that I never had. I know I can count on him for an entertaining conversation at the very least, plus he’s reliable enough to pour me into a taxi if I get totally pissed, which is looking like the plan at the moment.
I guide the bike through the quiet suburban streets, and park outside the pub. My leathers are dusty from the back roads and I give them a few slaps with my gloves, trying to look a little more presentable. Finally, I stuff the gloves in my helmet and carry it under my arm into the Firkin. I’ll have Gareth stash it behind the bar till I’m ready to leave.
Gareth: I look up an' nod as I see yeh come through the door. "Howyeh, man, how's it goin'?" Wi' a quick lash a' my j-cloth I wipe down the wood on the bar in front a' where yeh're headed to sit … tho I doan know why I bother, seein' as yeh're completely covered in dirt, head to toe. "Man, look at yeh, destroyin' me beautiful bar! Yeh're a fuckin' mess!" Yeh flash me an apologetic look as yeh hand over yer helmet, but I give yeh a quick wink to let yeh know I'm just messin' wi' yeh. I stuff it down next to the empty bottles on the floor, then flip a pint glass over in my hand as I go to the taps and start to pour yer black an' tan. "Been out for a long ride then?"
Karl: I grin as you start pulling my favorite brew. It really pays to be on good terms with bartenders. "I've been up Hastings way, seeing my aunt, not such a long ride, but lots of dirt roads. Seems I brought most of it back with me, sorry about that."
You set the glass down and I take a long pull, draining about half. "Perfect!" I wipe off my foam mustache. That went a ways to clearing the road dust out of my throat, and the beer here is always so bloody fresh. Guess it doesn't have much time to sit around in the keg . . .
"How've you been? You and Jay?" I'm almost afraid to ask, cause last time I was here you told me about more fanboys gone wrong weirdness.
Gareth: "Things are grand. Better'n grand, really. Jaybird just got a bouncer gig at one a' the clubs where we play a lot … well, yeh know it, it's the Shadowbox, where yeh saw us tha' night." I grin as I add add, "Guess yeh of all people'd know he'd make a fuckin' deadly bouncer."
Course tha's not all the good news. Never told yeh abou' those brutal nightmares, so no use mentionin' that since that last nightmare we've been sleepin' easy. But I'd forgotten wha' it felt like to go to sleep withou' fearin' tha' yeh'd wake up screamin' in a cold sweat -- it's pretty fuckin' incredible. An' yeh didna know abou' his bond tha' left 'im anguished, so I won't tell yeh the relief we both felt when it disappeared. But I do reckon I have some news tha'll please yeh, seein' as yeh've got about as much affection for yer other half as I do. I lean in closer across the bar an' lower my voice so the other punters won't overhear. "So c'mere an' tell me, Karl, have yeh noticed yerself missin' yer horseboy? Or not missin', as the case may be?"
Karl: I'm glad to hear that Jay got a job, but the next thing you say . . . missing my horseboy? Are you talking about Éomer, you must be, but . . . he should be sitting in Rohan waiting for a call that's not going to come until I decide it's time. I try to remember what day is was that I had the fight with Théodred, I don't think it's been seven days since then, anyway, so I should be safe from blondie trying anything for another few days at least. Until he runs out of patience and tries to shift . . . hmm, maybe I should talk to him before that.
But you are grinning and your eyes are dancing, so . . . I pitch my voice as low as yours. "What are you talking about? He doesn't come out anymore unless I call him and I'm not calling him right now, so no, I haven't missed him cause he's being good, for once."
Gareth: "Being good?" I gotta snort at that. "I thought yeh said yer man there was outta control. Doan tell me yeh've gone all soft on 'im, I'd be very disappointed in yeh." Yeh flash me a warnin' glare for my mockin' tone, which just makes me smirk more. I know I probably shouldn't be messin' wi' yeh like this, but if yer situation turns out to be anythin' like mine I reckon yeh'll forgive me. "My elf's gone. Been tryin' to reach 'im for a couple a' days now. An' Elroy's not comin' through to Martin anymore either. It's like their phone's been disconnected or somethin'. So was just wonderin' if it was just us, or if all the lines were down."
Karl: "I had a deal going with him, that he doesn't come through until I call him, in return for me letting him out once a week to screw his cousin."
I've got to think about this. I haven't tried to call him, cause I'm not quite ready to explain the whole problem with Théodred yet. I'm not sure if he eavesdrops the way Théodred does, I don't think so, or he would have been busting through a long time ago.
I laugh at your analogy. "The lines are down? I like that . . . but he has no reason to contact me and I haven't tried to reach him, so I don't know if my lines are down or not."
Gareth: "Yeh let 'im out to screw his cousin?" I shake my head as I snigger disdainfully. "Man, is everbody in Middle-earth a kinky fuck? Wha' the fuck's up wi' tha'?" Maybe these books are a lot more interestin' than they sound -- might explain why Jaybird likes 'em so much -- but this incest thing's just ... I shake my head hard to clear the thought a' Ronan tha' comes to mind. Definitely not sexy.
I turn my attention back to yeh, an' start to draw another black an' tan, seein' as yeh're getting' down to the dregs. "Like I said, man, I doan know if it's just me an' Martin or not. All I know is some freaky stuff's been happenin' an' I ain't surprised by anythin' at all anymore. Might not hurt to give yer man a shout an' see for yerself."
Karl: Your expression is beautiful. "Well, yeah, the cousin thing, can't say I understand it myself . . . but it bought me some peace and quiet for a while." I suck down about half of the new glass you give me.
"That sort of ended when I woke up with extra jewelry on my chest. That will teach me to trust princes . . . Théodred really pissed me off with that and we traded a few insults . . . and some fists." I'm tempted to get your opinion of horseboy's taste in piercings, just for laughs.
"Calling him . . . I don't know about that . . . I'll try it in a few days, he should be thinking he's coming to see Théodred then."
Gareth: My heart skips a beat when you mention Théodred, when I think he might be back an' makin' my boy hurt more. But no, the bond's gone, his as well as mine, it canna be the same thing ... then I remember wha' Jaybird told me tha' night on the roof, how that Theo was gone, an' another had taken his place. This must be the one yeh're talkin' abou', an' wi' that I breathe a lot easier.
"So he took yer body in to be pierced? Tha's bollixed to do tha' withou' yeh knowin'. Tho I bet it looks pretty hot. C'mon, give us a peek then." After a quick glance 'round the pub yeh roll yer shirt up an' look at me sheepishly. I reward yeh wi' a low whistle. "Tha's very nice, man, very nice. Looks real good on yeh." I give yeh a lusty wink as yeh drop yer shirt back down. "Yeh got somebody to help yeh play wi' it? They're lots more fun wi' two people. Not too long ago I would a' offered my services -- anythin' to help out a friend, yeh know." I canna help but smirk, yeh are a fine-lookin' fella an' it'd be my pleasure, "but these days I'm kinda taken." Which is just another way to say I'm smitten, besotted, crazy abou' my boy. But fuck if I wouldn't be game otherwise.
Karl: I can't help but flinch when you mention playing with it. I still haven't adjusted to the sensations it creates yet, a weird mixture of pleasure and . . . not pain, but something else that seems to shoot straight to my dick, just from casual contact. I can't imagine what it would feel like if somebody else touched it, on purpose. "Uh, no, thanks, I'm sure you'd help a friend if you could, but I don't really want anyone touching it right now . . . it's, uh . . . sensitive, I guess."
I finish off my glass and hand it to you for a refill. "Maybe after it heals up completely, I'll find a playmate of my own." I sigh. "Not that I have any prospects, not with a fucking sidekick to keep under wraps."
Gareth: I snicker as yeh get all squirmy on me, lickin' my bottom lip as I pull yeh another pint. But I frown when yeh start whingin' abou' yer lovelife. "Arrah, I know, it's shite, Karl, it truly is. I was mortified tha' Jaybird'd find out abou' the fuckin' elf. Actually I didnatell him, he found out by accident one night when Elladan attacked 'im. Was a real shocker" I slide the fresh pint under yer nose as I smile a' that memory. "But yeh know, Karl, other people, they've got secrets themselves. An' they might not think yers is such a bad thing. Yeh'll never know 'til yeh try." I wink again, an encouragin' wink from a friend this time, not a come on at all. "Besides, a good lookin' fella like yeh are, all alone? Tha's bollix tha' is!"
Karl: "Looks only go so far, mate." And I review the long list of things that have been screwing with my love life, globe trotting for various movies, Éomer, thinking I was crazy, various fights since I got back to Wellie. I shake my head ruefully, "I'm not much of a catch with all the extra shit that I tote around, and not just the shifting."
But when you tell me what happened with Elladan and Jay . . . "That terrifies me . . . having him shift in on someone I care about and hurt them . . . not just the secret aspect of it . . . but I don't understand him, I mean . . . he fucks his cousin, honestly. I'm just not sure what he's going to do and my chest is just one of a fuck load of examples of ways I don't get him."
Gareth: I canna help myself -- I reach over the bar an' give yeh a sharp cuff on the side a' yer head. Nothin' else is gonna break through tha' wall a' pain an' defensiveness yeh've built up 'round yerself. "Jaysus, man, yeh ain't listenin' to a fuckin' word I'm sayin'."
Yeh look up at me in surprise, yer eyes blazin' at my affront. I just shake my head. "Another fella used to come in all the time, sit at that very barstool, an' tell me the worst sob stories yeh ever did hear. An' he had ever reason to be miserable, more reasons than I even knew back then. Said he didna think abou' bein' happy an' shite like that. Sounded a lot like yeh do, moanin' over yer baggage an' all."
"This fella I knew, he figured things out tho. He had all this stuff weighin' him down -- stuff ever bit as big as wha' yeh're totin' – an' he still figured things out. He figured out where he wanted to be, he figured out who he wanted to be wi', he took some big fuckin' chances an' did some fuckin' crazy things. An' it ain't been easy for 'im. But now I reckon he's one a' the happiest fellas I know." Next to myself, anyway.
I canna read yer expression, an' I'm wonderin' whether yeh're gonna tell me to fuck off or whether yeh'll actually, maybe, listen to the bartender's advice like yeh should do. But I canna resist addin', "An' if yeh're gonna keep gettin' all mopey on me, I'm cuttin' yeh off. Canna have yeh cryin' all over me bar like a soppy mot."
Karl: I glare at you for a moment, wondering why everyone seems to want to take a poke at me these days. I always thought I was fairly peaceable, reflective sort. Well . . . mostly.
But I laugh finally, "All right, I must listen to my bartender, that's what you're for. No more moping. So what cure does Dr. Gareth prescribe?" I look around but I don't see any tables, damn, hustling a little pool would have suited me perfectly tonight.
Gareth: I shrug. "I doan know, man, yeh just gotta take a chance. Depends on wha' yeh're into, I reckon. If 'twas me, first thing, I'd see if that fella from Middle-earth's gone. An' even if he ain't, I'd take a good long look 'round 'til I found somebody who might be willin' to put up wi' him for a' shot at a gorgeous fella like myself. I'd probably drag 'em out to see this brilliant Irish band playin' at the Phoenix next Thursday, maybe go check out their hot singer. Or if I couldna find nobody to go wi' me, I'd probably go alone, see if there weren't some talent there to be had." I shrug again, wi' a grin. "But tha's just me."
Karl: take a good long look 'round . . . I remember the man from the bookstore . . . Eric. If Éomer is gone, maybe it's time I took a chance on that offer that he seemed to have in his eyes, maybe it's time I found out if it was my imagination or not. Besides, I know nothing about wine . . . books could be so helpful with that.
"Well . . . there might be a possibility . . . of something. I might see if it's more than a possibility." I'd rather do something a little more low key at first, but . . . "And I'd love to see your band again, I'll be there, date or not."
Gareth: My eyebrow cocks as I watch the small shy smile creep across yer face. Yeh're awfully cute, once yeh lose the gloom. No, I doan reckon yeh'll have too much trouble findin' somebody willin' to put up wi' yeh. I lift my ginger ale an' tip the edge a' yer glass. "Well, here's to yer possibility, man. Tha's how everthin' starts, yeh just gotta take it from there."
