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Getting Away
Oct. 4th, 2005 07:34 pmI pick up the phone several times, only to put it down again. I think carefully about what I want to say to him. He’s my friend, he deserves the truth, but the only the truth he can understand, not the dangerous one.
Finally, I go through with it and I’m almost relieved to get his voice mail. “Dave . . . it’s Karl. Just wanted to apologise to you for the way I was acting the other day.”
“Thing is . . . Eric and I broke up and . . . it put me into a tailspin. I’ve been a jerk, I know it and I’m sorry. But I . . . uh, “ . . . let Théodred fuck me into the mattress and I feel much better. Yeah. No. Not that truth either. I know he doesn’t like the idea of him with Éomer, so I’m pretty sure he’d object to me with anybody who looks like Paris. So . . .
“I, er . . . some time’s passed and I’ve gotten some perspective on the whole thing. I’m better, eating like you wanted me to. Well . . . later, mate.”
I hang up and go back to my packing. I’ve cut myself off from where I really want to be for long enough. I’ve regained some of my balance, sufficient that I won’t fall apart on her, but I can throw my grief on her now without endangering her. She understands heartbreak. I’ll stay with her until it’s time to start work on Outlander.
The horseboys can get together without anyone the wiser that I’m gone. I’ll leave Smokey and Ire with her and drive back for their meetings. Paris calls my cell, so he won’t know where he’s getting connected to.
Ire flops in the backseat, content, while I head north. I find that I’m actually looking forward to seeing the vineyards in the springtime.
Finally, I go through with it and I’m almost relieved to get his voice mail. “Dave . . . it’s Karl. Just wanted to apologise to you for the way I was acting the other day.”
“Thing is . . . Eric and I broke up and . . . it put me into a tailspin. I’ve been a jerk, I know it and I’m sorry. But I . . . uh, “ . . . let Théodred fuck me into the mattress and I feel much better. Yeah. No. Not that truth either. I know he doesn’t like the idea of him with Éomer, so I’m pretty sure he’d object to me with anybody who looks like Paris. So . . .
“I, er . . . some time’s passed and I’ve gotten some perspective on the whole thing. I’m better, eating like you wanted me to. Well . . . later, mate.”
I hang up and go back to my packing. I’ve cut myself off from where I really want to be for long enough. I’ve regained some of my balance, sufficient that I won’t fall apart on her, but I can throw my grief on her now without endangering her. She understands heartbreak. I’ll stay with her until it’s time to start work on Outlander.
The horseboys can get together without anyone the wiser that I’m gone. I’ll leave Smokey and Ire with her and drive back for their meetings. Paris calls my cell, so he won’t know where he’s getting connected to.
Ire flops in the backseat, content, while I head north. I find that I’m actually looking forward to seeing the vineyards in the springtime.
