horseboykarl

Starts right after Karl and Eric break up

Ire is glad to see me when I come home. Poor fellow, I’ve abandoned him, just coming around long enough to feed him and change clothes for the last two weeks. I pet him absently and then look around, not seeing, not thinking, afraid of what scene will unreel behind my eyelids.

I don’t want to be inside for some reason, so I build a campfire down by the pond, as the evening sun disappears. Ire flops beside me as I stare into the flames, tracing and retracing the tangled path of alternatives that led me here. When did I have a choice where I could have turned aside? . . .

( I wrench my mind away from the ‘what if’s’ before they drive me crazy. )