Finally Admitted (Sean/Karl)
Mar. 5th, 2006 11:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
horseboykarlOOC note: takes place immediately after Viggo leaves.
Watching Viggo leave, I decide I'm keeping the fuck out of their private lives, no fucking way am I telling Orli if I think Viggo's cheating on him. That's their problem.
Mine is sitting here beside me, and I pull away my hands, and nervously fiddle with the label on the bottle that Viggo left, wondering how much trouble I'm in. I can't remember ever going alpha like that on anybody. Never found the need to stake my claim so clearly, and I can't decide if Viggo brought it on or you. I've always thought I've been a pretty easy-going lover, not demanding a whole heaps. I was certainly that way with Eric. Never cared that his customers flirted with him, didn't think twice when he drew stares when we were out.
But those old rules are out with you. I feel more with you, somehow, the passion between us is more intense, the trust is deeper, everything is just . . . more.
"I'm in over my head here, Sean." I turn in my seat so I can face you, so we can see each other's eyes. And you can see how much I need you to help me.
I'm not like that, not usually.
Sean: You turn to me and looking into your eyes I see I need let you know something, right off. “Karl, I’m not angry. I’m not put off, hell, if anything I’m in over my head just as much as you are.” I fiddle with a napkin, wondering if I should be saying this in the middle of some pub, but it’s true. “Never did have patience for a lover who tried to ‘claim’ me, but you’ve gone and done it.”
“Never felt like that before. ” I watch you closely, worried that I’m not giving you what you need right now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know Vig was going to be here. The two of us haven’t spoken in a long time and I guess, I just didn’t think about what it might look like to you.”
It’s back to fiddling with my napkin as I try and gather the words. “Before Vig and I were, together, we were friends, good friends, and I’d like to have that again, but that’s all.” I look to you, trying to read you. “As much as I once wanted him, that’s past. I just don’t think of him in those terms, not anymore.” I lean forward, lowering my voice. “It’s you I want.”
Karl: I can't believe you're apologising, after the way I behaved. "I know you were just talking. Or rather, my head knew it, but something else took me over right then and all I could fucking think about was making sure everybody present knew what we were to each other."
I'd bloody well better solve the question myself, what exactly you are to me . . . lover, definitely . . . friend, I'd like to think so. Somebody that I don't want to lose, that it hurts just thinking about being without . . . I'm so fucked cause that's true too.
"I'm a crazy bugger . . . about you anyway." I sigh. "And you should be friends with Viggo, if you two can get to that place . . . that's wonderful." And it will be good for you if you can have that, and fuck . . . I want that for you, despite my own feelings. I can't imagine being friends with Eric, but then our ending had extra helpings of trauma to go along with the emotions of the break-up.
I signal for another beer, getting refills for both of us. I take refuge in a long pull from my glass. I take chance and trail my fingers up your arm, knowing they're cold from the glass, but wanting the security of contact with you.
Sean: I smile, noticing not for the first time how much we touch each other. Sometimes it’s purely unconscious, other times any but, but it’s something we share, the touching, as if we feed off one another’s energy and desires. It makes me feel close to you, and the way I’ve become so attuned to that, to wanting that, amazes me, especially considering all the broken endings I have behind me. “Vig and I might make it back to being friends like we were. I dunno, a lot’s happened, but it’s nice to know the possibility’s there.”
I lean into you a little, taking pleasure in your touch, in the fact that you want to. “You know, what you said,” I say slowly, absently drawing patterns with my finger through a spot of condensation left on the tabletop. “There’s a part of me that, ah, well . . .” I pause, glancing up to find you watching me. “That liked it.”
I shift a bit in my seat. “I mean, I’m not looking for you to go thumping heads every time some bloke glances my way, that’s not what I mean.” I run a hand through my hair, wondering exactly what the fuck I’m on about. “Just the thought that you think of me as yours. That’s just . . . well fuck, Karl, that just gets hold of me and won’t let go. Don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like this with anyone before.” I take a fortifying swallow of beer, suddenly aware of the smattering of people hanging about, and I wish I could explain that, coming from you, what you said was sexy as hell, but what I’m feeling is more than that, that’s it’s ignited a sameness in me, but I’m not sure I’m equipped to at the moment.
“Can’t say I wouldn’t have said the same thing, had I come in here and found you sitting with your ex.” I grin at you, letting you see the warmth in my eyes. “You’ve got nothing to worry about concerning Viggo. What you said is true, I’m yours.” My hand covers yours, turns it up and strokes your palm, then across the vulnerable pulse point of your wrist. “And you’re mine, love, and no one else’s.”
Karl: That surprises me completely, that you liked me behaving like a cave man. But I'm reassured by your touch on my wrist, that you really aren't mad at me. I close my eyes for a moment, as something rips through me, something strong and irresistible . . . that you've seen me acting like an ass and you still want me, that you accept me for what I am. I'm not one of those sensitive evolved types the women are always going on about and you don't give a shit. You give it right back to me.
"Thank you. Told you I've got no idea how to do a relationship, but I'm glad you're patient with it." I nod, "I am yours. Fuck, I'm so completely yours, you have no idea." And I still suck at words, but somehow the idea of you going medieval on someone for looking at me makes me smile.
Fuck, all I ever wanted was someone that would look at me, with all my issues and insecurities, and my fast temper and stubbornness, and still see someone worth being with. I lean against you, glad for your warmth, "I can learn, you're worth anything."
Sean: I’m left speechless by your words, at hearing the way you feel. My fingers tighten around yours and suddenly I wish we were alone. You lean into me and it feels just as good as it ever has, and I hope to hell I don’t find a way to screw this up between us. “I’m so glad I came back here,” I finally say. “Can’t imagine living here without you, now.”
My voice goes soft, these words for you alone. “Don’t know if I’m worth anything, and hell, I’ve had my share of relationships but I’m not sure I know any more that you do about holding something together.” I look into your eyes. “I want this to hold together more than I can remember wanting anything . . . but for me this isn’t just about wanting, not anymore.”
My fingers thread with yours and I lick my lips, gazing into you, lost in the desire to make certain you know how I feel. “Karl, I . . . you’re worth whatever it takes to keep you. You’re more than worth it and I need you, so much, love.”
Karl: I smile and slide my fingers on up your arm, into your hair. Not possessively this time but instead gratefully. That we're together and that I can touch you like this. And that your need seems to answer my own.
"I need you too, and it's not just physical, it's a part of me now, of everything I am. But I don't want to own you. I'm not crazy like that." And I'm probably not making any sense again. "I mean . . . you're mine, but I'm not apeshit controlling, yeah?"
"I want my life to be with you, but bloody hell, you know how we were talking about space or something once? Fuck . . . I know we've got friends in common and friends of our own, and I don't wanna be so demanding that you can't have time with Viggo or Dave . . . " And then the thing that I've managed to avoid thinking about hits me. We talked about my shift's extracurricular activities, but we never talked about yours. Suddenly I have a vivid idea of what the fuck Dave's been putting up with for the past year.
"Bloody hell, you can tell me to fuck off, but I seem to have a streak of jealousy around you . . . am I gonna have to stand back while Boromir takes your body and . . . ?" Fuck, I'm not trying to be nosy, but after tonight . . . I don't want to get blindsided by out-of-control jealousy again. If it's gonna happen, I'd better take some time to get used to the idea.
Sean: I smile at your touch, your words, and both touches something in me and I should be used to it by now, but I’m constantly discovering how good you make me feel. “I know you’re not like that, didn’t think you were trying to be controlling.” I pause, taking a breath, because your fingers in my hair are always brilliantly distracting.
You’ve brought up Boromir, and I think a moment before answering. “Honestly, I don’t exactly love the idea of Éomer showing up and making off with your body, but there’s no getting around it, it’s a fact Boromir will be dropping in. We’ll just have to work through it . . . I think whatever we ask of him, he’ll agree to, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the time he wants with Faramir. ”
I look into your eyes. “This may sound odd, but I know Boromir’s an honorable man, for all that he’s a bloody stubborn, inconvenient git. And I don’t like to speculate about things, but I’m sure he has . . . strong feelings when it comes to Faramir, and I think it’s good for them to be able to have time together. I’ve told him he could have that time, within reason.”
I lean into your touch, wishing I could make things easier for you. “We’ll figure it out, alright? I want you too much not to.”
Karl: The humour of it hits me then, and I shake my head and smile, moving closer and rubbing my face against your shining hair. I wrap an arm around your shoulder and kiss your temple.
"Bloody Tolkien. I don't suppose we'd know what to do with ourselves if we had normal problems." I turn my head, talking into your hair. "Took me a long time to accept Éomer, but I should have a head start this time."
You shift around and meet my mouth. We kiss softly for a moment and when we pull back, I can't help falling into your clear green eyes. I'm bloody well gone and I know it. "We'll figure it out. Together. I like that . . . and I'll get used to the idea of your shift. It's not worth losing this over."
I stroke my thumb along the line of your jaw, my fingers cradling your head. "Sean . . . "
Your eyes are warm and curious, waiting patiently for me to finish. My voice shakes as I reveal my biggest secret. "I've fallen in love with you."
The word that neither of us has used, but fuck, it's how I feel.
Sean: Your words rob me of breath, and for a long moment I just stare into your hazel eyes, caught, held by you. For an instant I wonder if I misunderstood, but I haven’t. You’re still waiting, and finally I remember to breathe and I lean into your touch, your familiar, wanted warmth, and it seems to me as if I’ve been heading for this moment since the first time I laid hands on you in my kitchen.
“Karl . . . ” And how do I tell you how you’ve just walked right inside me and made yourself at home, that I can’t go without you next to me, with me. “Christ, I feel the same.” The smile comes then, spreading over my face. “Think I have, since that night, since the first time I tasted you.”
I lean forward, kissing you, sliding my tongue into you caring only about making sure that you’ve heard me, that you believe me. Your hold on me tightens and it feels so fucking good, so I kiss you harder. Our mouths slide together, sloppy and hot and it’s only long moments later that I pull back, breathless from you.
I’ve not had the best of luck with these words, but looking into your eyes now, I have to give them to you. “I love you, Karl.”
Karl: I know my eyes must have gone as dark and dazed as yours look, overwhelmed by the lust and love I feel with you. I lick my lips, tasting you on my mouth, and I'm not really conscious of where we are, just how I feel when I'm with you.
"Fuck yes, Sean. I love you." I tighten my arms around you, wanting you closer, touching you to make sure you're real, stunned that somehow my luck changed and I have you. You loving me back is like a miracle and I've got to get my hands on you to make sure I'm not imagining it.
Our mouths meet again and I'm trying to pull you into my lap, but the table gets in the way and I raise my head, realising that I've just opened my heart up in the middle of a pub. Good job, Urban, not very romantic. I grin and shrug, noticing that we both have fresh drinks and wondering when that happened. The world shrinks down to just two whenever you touch me.
But some pressure that I hadn't known was there till now goes away and I've got a fucking loopy smile on my face, but my eyes are lit by what I'm feeling, by what I see in yours, reflected back at me.
Sean: You grin, and just the way you’re looking at me sends a rush of warmth over my skin, fills me inside with that same heat. Your eyes are on mine and I can’t look away, lost in this, yet another discovery of how brilliant you make me feel. You’ve become the reason I’m happy here, washed right over every barrier I had in place to keep me from getting hurt, again. Your heat and your fierceness, your caring and strength, all have reached inside me and left your mark, and I feel so grateful for having that, for having you.
You have my heart, and right now, looking at you . . . “Christ, you’re gorgeous.” And you are, inside and out. Your hand is still on me, and mine on you and fuck, the things you bring out in me. I want to get closer to you, but like before the table is in the way, and there’s too many eyes about for what I want, though we’ve not drawn much attention being tucked in the back of the pub. My hand slides up your chest, fingers curling into your shirt, pulling you as close as I can mange. I brush my lips over yours, then draw back, wanting you to see everything, what you’ve started in me, what I want, what’s yours.
“Let’s get the bloody hell out of here.” I say, voice rough, wanting you to know how much I need you, and I don’t worry about that at all, because you make it all right. “I need you, so fucking much, love.”
Karl: "Brilliant idea." We get the server to settle the bill, but find out that Viggo left us a present. Most of my aggravation with him vanishes, for that was a kind gesture. He can keep loving you all he wants to, but I'm the one who bloody well has you. And maybe if he hadn't said what he had, I wouldn't have faced the way I truly feel about you.
"We owe him one, " I murmur, not talking about the drinks exactly, but I'll explain that to you some other time. "Maybe we should throw him a bridal shower."
We walk out of the Firkin, holding hands until we get to your Rover. I pull you to me and then press you against the truck, our bodies fitting together and I'm already breathing hard when our lips clash together. I rest my head against yours when we come up for air, my chest working hard for breath, because you take mine away. Your heat lights an answering fire in me.
"Anything you want, Sean. Anything at all. I'm yours . . . completely." And that's never been the case before, but for you . . . I'll hold nothing back.
Sean: You press me against the Rover and I give myself over to this, us, to the feelings moving in me. I push against you, definitely not trying to get away, definitely not, but wanting to bring us closer. My arms wrap around you as your mouth meets mine and I let you in to take it as far and as deep as desired. When you pull back we’re both panting, and everything about you feels more intense than it ever has, your mouth, your chest heaving against mine, the look in your darkened eyes.
Your words, the tone of your voice, all touches me as surely as your hands, a heated stroke moving over my skin, moving inside me and fuck, but I want you. “Karl,” I manage huskily, looking into your eyes, lost in them as you bring our faces close together, and feels as if you’re looking right inside me, into my heart. Bloody hell.
My hands moves up your back, feeling your strength under my hands through the layers of clothing. I rock against you, restlessly, still caught between you and the truck. Bringing our lips together again, I kiss you slowly, stroking your mouth, then pulling back for a quick breath only to dive back in. Your fingers curl into my hair and I growl, melting against you and you press your advantage. You don’t need to press very hard, I open under you, inviting you in to taste my need.
I’m craving you, ready to have you or be had, right here, but when we finally break apart and your breath is warm against my mouth as I whisper roughly, “Come home with me.”
Karl: Heat goes through me like lightening and if I thought we were intense together before, nothing prepared me for how I feel now. You taste like fire and I'm starting to fucking drown in the desire and the want, fuck, I never knew I could want anyone as much as I want you now.
We pull apart again, and I trail my fingers down the strong sharp bones of your face, feeling all your textures. "Yeah, I'll come home with you." I smile. "Told you I'd be the stray you couldn't get rid of, you're stuck with me now."
I don't want to let go of you enough to get my bike, so we somehow make into your truck without unwinding. I think about the bike, but then forget about it. Chris knows me well enough ever since I jumped in when the gang tried to kill his bartender. It'll be fine to park it here overnight.
Once we're in the Rover however, I can't keep my hands off you and we try to sink together again, until we both laugh, realising that we're too big to be trying this in here. I get settled in my seat, but I keep my hand on your neck, rubbing a little, playing with your hair.
My voice is ragged with need. "We'd better find a bed . . . or something." I'm not heaps picky at the moment, just want enough space to get naked with you.
Sean: Your touch alone has the power to undo me, and I’m bloody well tempted to pull you back outside again. But the thought of making love to you in my bed, of having your spread out, naked, with nothing but the long night ahead of us, gets me jamming the key in the ignition and starting the car.
You keep your hand on me all the way home, and fuck, I feel like it belongs there, on me. By the time we make the short trip, I can’t guess how I’ve not cracked the car up or gotten pulled over for erratic driving. I pull the Rover up alongside the house and turn it off, reaching for you. We share a hard, wet kiss, my mouth slanting over yours and it’s only the necessity for air that has me pulling away, but only so far as to mumble against your slick lips. “Want you so fucking much.”
You surge against me and I welcome your hunger, match it, opening my mouth and growling as your fingers hold me tight about my neck. Finally, we pull away and climb out of the Rover, making our way to the house between kisses and gropes. At the front door I fumble with the keys, barely managing to get the right one in the lock and pop it open as your arms slip around me from behind. The feel of you pressing against my back, my arse, has me melting back into your embrace, lost. Turning my face, I nuzzle your neck. “Want to make love to you, Karl.”
Your arms tighten and I pull your hand to my mouth and kiss your fingers, your palm, the inside of your wrist. “Want to give you anything you want, love.”
Karl: By the time we get to your house, my balls are aching, my chest is aching, I'm too full of everything I feel for you that it's starting to overwhelm me. I fell so hard and so fast for you, that sometimes it scares me, but right now, when you're touching me, when I can touch you, when I see the same need in your eyes that's in mine, all the shit I've been packing around just flies away and I know, again, that I'm safe with you.
"I want you to make love to me, want you touching me. Fuck, I need to be naked with you." I gasp at the feel of your mouth on my wrist, the place you sensitised with your fingers earlier, in the pub. I moan, losing it to you, giving up everything to you, my loss of control, my wild lust for you, the love that seems to want to burst out of me.
"Please, Sean. Fuck, I'm lost. Help me."
Your hand is steady on mine as you guide me up the stairs and I'm fucking clinging to you, because I told you the bloody fucking truth, I can hardly see, I'm getting that inundated with the feelings racing through me. And I let go of a lifetime of never admitting to any weakness, cause I'm not afraid of letting you in, letting you see the things I've kept hidden.
I'm starting to shake, but I find your mouth, your beautiful talented mouth and I ground myself in your taste, the familiar feel of you on my tongue. Your hands are on my clothes and I help you as best I can, but my fingers have gone clumsy with nerves and anticipation.
Sean: I’m not sure who’s shaking more, you or me, but between the two of us we get your shirt off. It slides away, revealing your bare chest and my eyes move over you. “Gorgeous,” I whisper, hardly noticing that I’ve spoken at all, and the love, longing and lust owns me right now. I slide my hands over your shoulders, down your chest, mapping skin, the muscle beneath, and I want to pleasure you, make you moan with it. I want to hold you close and feel the tremors run through you, to let you take from me what you want, because you’ve already given me so much.
Your hands tugs my shirt open as I get my mouth on you, licking and nipping my way down your body, and closing my mouth over your nipple, I suck, gently. You press into me and I growl, wanting more. Dropping to my knees before you, my trembling fingers work your jeans open, easing them off. Looking up at you, feeling more in this moment than I can almost handle, I wrap my arms about you, pulling you close, letting you see the truth of what I’m feeling in my eyes, hiding nothing.
Pressing my cheek against your belly, I rub against you, letting you feel my slight stubble before moving down to nuzzle your crotch, to run my tongue along your hot cock that’s standing up proud and hard, and all for me. Christ. My hands slide over your arse, fingers trailing, slipping up and down your cleft, gentle and teasing.
You’re beautiful and mine, and I guide your hand to my head, grinning up at you. Your eyes are shaded dark, hair tousled, and I want to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt. I lick my lips, then slowly move up and suck your cock into my mouth. I just hold you inside for a moment, then pull back, swirling my tongue about your tip, savoring the taste of you.
Karl: Your hands on me pull responses from me, wordless moans and cries as you touch me. Your whiskers rake across my belly, leaving tingling behind. I spread my legs, partially to get my balance back and partially to give you better access to whatever you want from me.
Your hot mouth closes around me and I throw my head back, gasping and moaning, struggling for control, struggling to keep myself from ramming down your throat. But you're ruthlessly working me, your tongue twisting around my shaft, your hands gliding over the sensitive parts of my ass, and it's a pointless struggle because my control was already lost before you ever got my clothes off.
My hips thrust forward, mindlessly, as I look down at your shining head, caught by the sight of you taking me in, your lips wrapped around my dick. I can't stop myself, but you encourage me, your hands push me and I give in to the pleasure of having you suck my cock.
It's rising through me, feelings I can't hold back, the orgasm that you're demanding of me. "Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come."
"Sean . . . " My voice is tight and strangled as I let go.
Sean: The sounds you’re making cut right through me, and fuck, but I’m craving you. I have all night . . . all night to do nothing but touch you, pleasure you, love you, and that’s the only thing that’s keeping me together. Relaxing my throat, I open myself to you as much as I can, and you thrust in, fucking my mouth and I want it, want you to shake apart in my hands. Gripping your arse, I urge you on, and when your fingers curl into my hair the tug pulls a moan out of me.
I want to answer you when you say you’re close, want to tell you to give it to me, but with my mouth full all I can do is hum around your cock and tighten my grip on you, cradling you. Your hard steady rhythm changes, goes harder, faster, just shoving in and I take you, moaning as your fingers tighten suddenly in my hair and your cock jerks in my mouth.
My throat works as I swallow you down, hands holding you tight and your body goes ridged with your release and in spite of my hunger for you, a deep sense of satisfaction settles over me, knowing that I’ve given this pleasure to you. Pulling back, your cock slips from my mouth and I lick my lips, swiping up your come that I wasn’t able to manage.
Slowly I come up, my hands never leaving you, pressing kisses to your heated skin as I go, glorying in the tremors I feel running through your body. Holding you close, I kiss your lips, just letting you feel me as you come down. “Bloody well amazing,” I say, smiling, reminding myself that we do have all night, that you’re not leaving me.
Karl: You hold me while I fall endlessly, your hands warm on me. When you finally release me, I take a deep shuddering breath, feeling drained. My taste in your mouth brings a whimper and though you've just brought me a crashing good orgasm, I want more. I hold you tight, coming back to myself, loving the way we fit together.
I back up until I'm sitting on the bed with you between my knees. I put my face in your belly, resting against your muscles, feeling the steady rise and fall of your breathing. The emotion hits me again and I tighten my arms, knowing I must be close to crushing you, but I want you so badly, want to be with you, don't ever want to let you go.
Your hand rests in my hair, stroking gently, soothing me, reassuring me, letting me know that you're with me, and you're not going anywhere. We're together. I relax my grip finally, and turn my mouth onto your skin, my tongue flicking out to circle your belly button, then sucking lightly on the small indent. My fingers work to get your jeans open and then I rub my face on the golden hair of your treasure trail, humming a little, happiness replacing uncertainty.
My hands are firm on you as I push your jeans away, down over your rounded buttcheeks, my hands tingling from the contact with your beautiful body. Together we get you out of your jeans and then I sit back for a moment, my hands moving over your strong thighs, looking at the sight of you so hard for me. I look up at you finally, letting you see how much this is affecting me.
"Beautiful." I nuzzle your cock, taking a taste of you and purring again, before looking back up at you. "Anything. I'm yours. Completely."
Sean: My breath rushes out at the touch of your hot mouth. You look up at me with such passion moving behind your beautiful eyes, and I have to touch you. My fingers sift through your hair, brushing it back from your face, slipping down to cradle the back of your head. Urging you up, our bodies slide together and the heat radiating off you feels amazing. You feel amazing, and I lean in for a kiss, wanting your mouth, but on impulse press my lips to your forehead instead.
My hands cradle your head, just holding you as I scatter warm kisses over your face, before finally slanting my mouth over yours. The kiss smolders, goes long, hot and deep, when I pull back at last my breath is coming fast, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Need you . . . need to be inside you, love,” and my voice is rough with desire as I push you back on the bed. You go down smiling, and I climb over you, grinding down with my hips, letting you feel what I want to give you. I’m hard and burning for you. You’ve lit a flame inside . . . you are the flame inside, and I need you to get closer.
We rub together, trading hot, wet kisses that leave me growling until finally I roll to the side, pulling you on top. My hands rake down your back, greedy for the feel of your muscles as I spread my legs and shift under you. Absently I reach out to the night table and switch on the lamp. “Want to see you,” I pant, snagging the lube from the table too.
I push up against you, gasping as my cock glides against your skin, and I’m lost in you, falling further by the second. My hand settles on your hip, gripping hard as my other kneads your arse, pushing you down on me, fingers slipping along your cleft. “Want you stretch you, love, want to watch you ride my cock . . . ”
Karl: Our mouths together, warm and wet, I could kiss you forever, I think. Your hardness against me feels so good and my dick's starting to respond to you again.
When you put me on top, though, and say that you want me to ride you, I realise that you're asking me to actively participate in taking you in my ass, instead of letting you push into me. I discover that it's something different, something I'm not entirely sure about, but your fingers are already probing me, pushing in and retreating. And I'm opening for you, my body in agreement with you, while my mind was still working things out. You rub a finger over the sensitive nerves in the puckered skin, making the muscles in my pelvis clench as pulses of lust ripple out from the contact. I'm shaking again, wanting this, wanting to sink down onto you, wanting you as deep as you can possibly go.
"Want that too." My voice is husky with the impossible craving you invoke in me. I hiss as your fingers go deeper, partially from the burning, partially from the throbbing in my cock that your move causes. I'm caught, and my body is happy about it. I stop thinking and let myself feel. A fucking huge part of why I'm here with you is that I trust you, trust that you'll make it feel good, trust that you'll care for me.
My body is taking your fingers in now, and I know you've added a third, your fingers stretching and opening me. I spread my legs, pushing back against your fingers and my moans have turned into small pleading cries. "Please, I want you. Need this."
Your lips travel over the tense muscles of the arm that I've planted on the bed to balance as I move with you. I quiver at the feel of more lube on my asshole, as you smear it around, dipping into me. Your hands are on my hips guiding me, and I feel you against me, the blunt tip of your cock.
With a groan, I push down, gratefully sinking onto you until our bodies meet and the feeling that I wanted so badly . . . the feeling of you filling me, your cock sunk into my body, fuck . . . I grip your hands, meeting your eyes, panting.
Sean: Your heat engulfs me and I gasp with the pleasure of it, my fingers laced with yours tightening hard. “Karl, god,” I moan, undone by you. My body surges up, and though my cock is buried deep inside you, I want more. I thrust, a helpless ragged rhythm that’s driven by desire and the pure need to just get inside and be with you.
I struggle to get a grip on myself, chest heaving as I try and stop from spending too soon. Looking at you, my beautiful lover riding me, I’m taken with emotion and fuck, but I want so much . . . I have so much with you. You move on me and I moan, uncaring how needful I sound, because I am needful. I plant my feet on the bed and take you, my cock sheathed inside your tight, velvet body and you’re burning me, taking me someplace else where there’s only your body and mine, slowly driving one another higher.
“Karl, christ . . . love you so much,” and looking into your eyes, joined with you like this, I’ve never felt closer to anyone.
You’re giving me so much, your body and your heart and I hope I’m worthy of both. We move in tandem, and I manage to keep from just taking you, but let you set the pace, let you decide how hard and how fast. Sweat has broken out over us, your skin is shining with it, your lean, beautiful body working hard, loving yourself on me. My mouth is open, panting for air and I’m giving you my moans and my cock, giving you myself and the pleasure is complete in me, but I need more.
“Come for me, love, come all over me, let me watch.” I slip a hand from yours and reach for your cock, pulling on it slow and steady as you ride.
Karl: My body is beyond my control, I'm moving on you, squirming back and forth, finding where it feels best, and fuck . . . this feels good. I find the place that strikes sparks behind my eyes, and I cry out with the feeling. Finding a rhythm that is going to push me over soon, I'm shocked at how easy this is, how free I feel, riding your cock like this. You meet me and we move together, every stroke sending me higher.
You put your hand on my cock, and you've learned how I like it over the weeks we've been together, and we're both working me now, you on my cock and me on my asshole. Your long beautiful dick scrapes across my gland and your hand is relentless and I can't help doing what you ask, giving a hoarse cry of completion, bucking harder on you, driving myself down as far as I can go.
I'm spurting endlessly over you, your other hand pushing me down while I clench around the length of you sunk so deep in me, I feel you with everything I've got.
I want to collapse on you, and I'm shaking again, but I want to feel you coming inside me, want your juice dripping out of me, proof that I'm yours, and I don't know why I need it, but I want evidence of your love all over my body.
When I get my wind back, I start moving again, watching you intently, wanting to see every expression on your face, wanting to watch you lose it and fill me.
"Love you."
Sean: You’ve driven me beyond words, again, and there’s nothing but the sounds of our harsh breathing, of our bodies slapping together. Nothing but the moans and the grunts as I buck up into you and you give me your most intimate embrace as your inner muscles clench down around me. You’re coming and proof of your pleasure spurts out over my fingers that milk you for every drop. I revel in the feel of it hitting my chest and I’m so close it hurts.
The scent of sex is heavy in the air and your eyes are on me, that fierceness I love sparking in the darkened depths and I’m in sensory overload. I release your spent cock, hand going to your hip, thrusting up I pull you down, working myself so fucking hard just to get to you. You move with me and I’m moaning, crying out with the hard driving joy of our lovemaking.
Abruptly it happens, my body can’t take anymore and my eyes are locked with yours as my cock pulses, sends my come flowing deep in your arse. The pleasure starts in my cock and spreads everywhere, running up my spine and out every nerve ending, tingling the bottoms of my feet and curling my toes against the mattress. Finally I give in and close my eyes as my body finishes the ride, at last collapsing back on my pillows, panting and spent.
My fingers are tangled with yours as I slowly drift back to awareness, I feel the heat of you still on top of me and I think that I’ll always want to be tangled with you. You’re resting against my chest and my free hand is smoothing over your back, and christ but you’ve become to mean so much to me. I don’t want you to leave me, ever, and it’s not until I open my eyes to find you watching me that I realize I’ve spoken out loud.
Karl: I see it when your eyes go blank, when your muscles convulse under me, and I don't think I've ever seen anything so fucking beautiful as you shooting your come into my ass. I watch as you slowly relax again, your face, the face I love so, easing into serenity.
My legs are cramping, I'm unused to being in this position, and you still look utterly blissful. I ease up gradually, wincing as your cock leaves me, and I know now what you've meant when you've said you'll be feeling me. Cause I'll be feeling this fucking for a while. No, not fucking. Not with you. Lovemaking. Fast, hard and passionate, but still lovemaking. I smile, feeling peaceful and at ease with myself, the doubts and insecurities that usually plague me gone, erased in the protection of your love.
I stretch out half on top of you, curling against you, trying to get closer as your hand moves over me. Your voice is a low, indistinct rumble, but I catch the words and they fill my heart, making me realise again how much you care about me. And it lets me know that maybe I'm not the only who doubts himself.
"I don't intend to, not ever." I know that I can't swear that we'll be forever, that shit happens, but fuck, I never want to lose you. "You've given me so much . . . acceptance and friendship over and above all this. It matters so much to me, cause I've never felt like this, fucking not ever. Don't want it to end."
I rub my face against you again before I can stop myself, the marking thing I can't seem to bloody well stop doing to you. I smile against your skin, turning it into a kiss and then meeting your eyes again, happily.
Sean: You rub your cheek against me and I pull you closer, smiling, because the move has become so familiar, and it feels so good. I feel the warmth of your lips again and then you raise your head, looking at me and I grin, because you look content and happy, and that it’s me that’s given you that . . . well, that reaches way down and fills me with many things. Pride, happiness, disbelief.
Gliding my hands down your back, I move against you a little, getting comfortable, getting closer. Our sweat damp bodies slide together and it’s unreal how I can never get enough of you. I pull you up beside me, getting you settled on my pillow and I don’t say anything for long moments, but just look at you, here, mine, in my bed. Leaning close I press a kiss to your temple, just above your eyebrow, then another to your lips, just to feel you, to make sure you’re real.
Brushing your hair back behind your ear, I draw back, but only far enough to look into your eyes. “Don’t want it to end either, love. It’s so easy to love you, I just . . . let go of myself with you like I’ve never done with anyone.”
Words are crowding me now, and I’m surprised, though I shouldn’t be. You’ve drawn so much out of me, that I need to give you even more shouldn’t seem unusual. “Fuck, Karl . . . ” My hand smoothes over your shoulder, slips down your arms to take your hand in mine. I look down at our fingers, curling together. “You’ve gotten in me, deep.” Lifting my gaze, I smile, a little breathless with this, with you. “I love you. Hope I never disappoint you.”
Karl There's something bloody brilliant about just our hands together like this and I smile again. I'm feeling a bit wrung out, something you seem to be able to do to me, whether it's the intensity of our lovemaking or the endless way my body responds to you. I push my head further into the pillow, getting comfortable, watching you, lipping your skin a little.
"You do the same thing to me, fuck, I've let go of so much and I've never wanted to give anyone as much as I give you. But I'm a stubborn git, so we're bound to get wobbly with each other sometimes. But disappointed? No, can't see that happening."
Leaning forward, I find your mouth, my tongue seeking, slowly and carefully mapping your contours, gentle now with satiation. You taste so good, familiar and warm, your own taste. I pull my lips away, but just barely, so that all I can see is one green eye and when I speak my mouth flutters over yours.
"I love you and the only way I'll ever be disappointed is if you try to send me away."
Our arms wind around each other again, and we pull in close together, bodies touching all the way down, head to toes. With small kisses and light touches, we speak lover's words, full of warmth and drowsy laughter, our bodies resting quietly, touching still, always touching.
Sean: Your words touch me as surely as your mouth, your hands, and I sink into you, accepting and wanting, content. Reaching down I pull the blanket up and we curl together, my arms going about you and your hands resting on me. After a time of sleepy kisses and touches, we settle under the blanket, tangled together the way we always seem to end up.
So much has happened so fast with you, but now everything slows. Your breathing evens out and for a while I just listen to the steady rhythm, until finally reaching out for the lamp. I have to pull away slightly and you murmur in your sleep, quickly shutting off the lamp I fall still, letting myself drift in the warmth of contentment and brilliant tiredness.
You sigh in sleep and I smile, not far from sleep myself. So much so fast, and now you mean so very much and I’ve no intention of letting you go. We are tangled together, and in more than body, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, not now that I know you, not now that I’ve learned what you mean to me. My eyes slide shut and I slip into sleep, my arms still wound tight around you, always touching.
NC-17
Watching Viggo leave, I decide I'm keeping the fuck out of their private lives, no fucking way am I telling Orli if I think Viggo's cheating on him. That's their problem.
Mine is sitting here beside me, and I pull away my hands, and nervously fiddle with the label on the bottle that Viggo left, wondering how much trouble I'm in. I can't remember ever going alpha like that on anybody. Never found the need to stake my claim so clearly, and I can't decide if Viggo brought it on or you. I've always thought I've been a pretty easy-going lover, not demanding a whole heaps. I was certainly that way with Eric. Never cared that his customers flirted with him, didn't think twice when he drew stares when we were out.
But those old rules are out with you. I feel more with you, somehow, the passion between us is more intense, the trust is deeper, everything is just . . . more.
"I'm in over my head here, Sean." I turn in my seat so I can face you, so we can see each other's eyes. And you can see how much I need you to help me.
I'm not like that, not usually.
Sean: You turn to me and looking into your eyes I see I need let you know something, right off. “Karl, I’m not angry. I’m not put off, hell, if anything I’m in over my head just as much as you are.” I fiddle with a napkin, wondering if I should be saying this in the middle of some pub, but it’s true. “Never did have patience for a lover who tried to ‘claim’ me, but you’ve gone and done it.”
“Never felt like that before. ” I watch you closely, worried that I’m not giving you what you need right now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know Vig was going to be here. The two of us haven’t spoken in a long time and I guess, I just didn’t think about what it might look like to you.”
It’s back to fiddling with my napkin as I try and gather the words. “Before Vig and I were, together, we were friends, good friends, and I’d like to have that again, but that’s all.” I look to you, trying to read you. “As much as I once wanted him, that’s past. I just don’t think of him in those terms, not anymore.” I lean forward, lowering my voice. “It’s you I want.”
Karl: I can't believe you're apologising, after the way I behaved. "I know you were just talking. Or rather, my head knew it, but something else took me over right then and all I could fucking think about was making sure everybody present knew what we were to each other."
I'd bloody well better solve the question myself, what exactly you are to me . . . lover, definitely . . . friend, I'd like to think so. Somebody that I don't want to lose, that it hurts just thinking about being without . . . I'm so fucked cause that's true too.
"I'm a crazy bugger . . . about you anyway." I sigh. "And you should be friends with Viggo, if you two can get to that place . . . that's wonderful." And it will be good for you if you can have that, and fuck . . . I want that for you, despite my own feelings. I can't imagine being friends with Eric, but then our ending had extra helpings of trauma to go along with the emotions of the break-up.
I signal for another beer, getting refills for both of us. I take refuge in a long pull from my glass. I take chance and trail my fingers up your arm, knowing they're cold from the glass, but wanting the security of contact with you.
Sean: I smile, noticing not for the first time how much we touch each other. Sometimes it’s purely unconscious, other times any but, but it’s something we share, the touching, as if we feed off one another’s energy and desires. It makes me feel close to you, and the way I’ve become so attuned to that, to wanting that, amazes me, especially considering all the broken endings I have behind me. “Vig and I might make it back to being friends like we were. I dunno, a lot’s happened, but it’s nice to know the possibility’s there.”
I lean into you a little, taking pleasure in your touch, in the fact that you want to. “You know, what you said,” I say slowly, absently drawing patterns with my finger through a spot of condensation left on the tabletop. “There’s a part of me that, ah, well . . .” I pause, glancing up to find you watching me. “That liked it.”
I shift a bit in my seat. “I mean, I’m not looking for you to go thumping heads every time some bloke glances my way, that’s not what I mean.” I run a hand through my hair, wondering exactly what the fuck I’m on about. “Just the thought that you think of me as yours. That’s just . . . well fuck, Karl, that just gets hold of me and won’t let go. Don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like this with anyone before.” I take a fortifying swallow of beer, suddenly aware of the smattering of people hanging about, and I wish I could explain that, coming from you, what you said was sexy as hell, but what I’m feeling is more than that, that’s it’s ignited a sameness in me, but I’m not sure I’m equipped to at the moment.
“Can’t say I wouldn’t have said the same thing, had I come in here and found you sitting with your ex.” I grin at you, letting you see the warmth in my eyes. “You’ve got nothing to worry about concerning Viggo. What you said is true, I’m yours.” My hand covers yours, turns it up and strokes your palm, then across the vulnerable pulse point of your wrist. “And you’re mine, love, and no one else’s.”
Karl: That surprises me completely, that you liked me behaving like a cave man. But I'm reassured by your touch on my wrist, that you really aren't mad at me. I close my eyes for a moment, as something rips through me, something strong and irresistible . . . that you've seen me acting like an ass and you still want me, that you accept me for what I am. I'm not one of those sensitive evolved types the women are always going on about and you don't give a shit. You give it right back to me.
"Thank you. Told you I've got no idea how to do a relationship, but I'm glad you're patient with it." I nod, "I am yours. Fuck, I'm so completely yours, you have no idea." And I still suck at words, but somehow the idea of you going medieval on someone for looking at me makes me smile.
Fuck, all I ever wanted was someone that would look at me, with all my issues and insecurities, and my fast temper and stubbornness, and still see someone worth being with. I lean against you, glad for your warmth, "I can learn, you're worth anything."
Sean: I’m left speechless by your words, at hearing the way you feel. My fingers tighten around yours and suddenly I wish we were alone. You lean into me and it feels just as good as it ever has, and I hope to hell I don’t find a way to screw this up between us. “I’m so glad I came back here,” I finally say. “Can’t imagine living here without you, now.”
My voice goes soft, these words for you alone. “Don’t know if I’m worth anything, and hell, I’ve had my share of relationships but I’m not sure I know any more that you do about holding something together.” I look into your eyes. “I want this to hold together more than I can remember wanting anything . . . but for me this isn’t just about wanting, not anymore.”
My fingers thread with yours and I lick my lips, gazing into you, lost in the desire to make certain you know how I feel. “Karl, I . . . you’re worth whatever it takes to keep you. You’re more than worth it and I need you, so much, love.”
Karl: I smile and slide my fingers on up your arm, into your hair. Not possessively this time but instead gratefully. That we're together and that I can touch you like this. And that your need seems to answer my own.
"I need you too, and it's not just physical, it's a part of me now, of everything I am. But I don't want to own you. I'm not crazy like that." And I'm probably not making any sense again. "I mean . . . you're mine, but I'm not apeshit controlling, yeah?"
"I want my life to be with you, but bloody hell, you know how we were talking about space or something once? Fuck . . . I know we've got friends in common and friends of our own, and I don't wanna be so demanding that you can't have time with Viggo or Dave . . . " And then the thing that I've managed to avoid thinking about hits me. We talked about my shift's extracurricular activities, but we never talked about yours. Suddenly I have a vivid idea of what the fuck Dave's been putting up with for the past year.
"Bloody hell, you can tell me to fuck off, but I seem to have a streak of jealousy around you . . . am I gonna have to stand back while Boromir takes your body and . . . ?" Fuck, I'm not trying to be nosy, but after tonight . . . I don't want to get blindsided by out-of-control jealousy again. If it's gonna happen, I'd better take some time to get used to the idea.
Sean: I smile at your touch, your words, and both touches something in me and I should be used to it by now, but I’m constantly discovering how good you make me feel. “I know you’re not like that, didn’t think you were trying to be controlling.” I pause, taking a breath, because your fingers in my hair are always brilliantly distracting.
You’ve brought up Boromir, and I think a moment before answering. “Honestly, I don’t exactly love the idea of Éomer showing up and making off with your body, but there’s no getting around it, it’s a fact Boromir will be dropping in. We’ll just have to work through it . . . I think whatever we ask of him, he’ll agree to, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the time he wants with Faramir. ”
I look into your eyes. “This may sound odd, but I know Boromir’s an honorable man, for all that he’s a bloody stubborn, inconvenient git. And I don’t like to speculate about things, but I’m sure he has . . . strong feelings when it comes to Faramir, and I think it’s good for them to be able to have time together. I’ve told him he could have that time, within reason.”
I lean into your touch, wishing I could make things easier for you. “We’ll figure it out, alright? I want you too much not to.”
Karl: The humour of it hits me then, and I shake my head and smile, moving closer and rubbing my face against your shining hair. I wrap an arm around your shoulder and kiss your temple.
"Bloody Tolkien. I don't suppose we'd know what to do with ourselves if we had normal problems." I turn my head, talking into your hair. "Took me a long time to accept Éomer, but I should have a head start this time."
You shift around and meet my mouth. We kiss softly for a moment and when we pull back, I can't help falling into your clear green eyes. I'm bloody well gone and I know it. "We'll figure it out. Together. I like that . . . and I'll get used to the idea of your shift. It's not worth losing this over."
I stroke my thumb along the line of your jaw, my fingers cradling your head. "Sean . . . "
Your eyes are warm and curious, waiting patiently for me to finish. My voice shakes as I reveal my biggest secret. "I've fallen in love with you."
The word that neither of us has used, but fuck, it's how I feel.
Sean: Your words rob me of breath, and for a long moment I just stare into your hazel eyes, caught, held by you. For an instant I wonder if I misunderstood, but I haven’t. You’re still waiting, and finally I remember to breathe and I lean into your touch, your familiar, wanted warmth, and it seems to me as if I’ve been heading for this moment since the first time I laid hands on you in my kitchen.
“Karl . . . ” And how do I tell you how you’ve just walked right inside me and made yourself at home, that I can’t go without you next to me, with me. “Christ, I feel the same.” The smile comes then, spreading over my face. “Think I have, since that night, since the first time I tasted you.”
I lean forward, kissing you, sliding my tongue into you caring only about making sure that you’ve heard me, that you believe me. Your hold on me tightens and it feels so fucking good, so I kiss you harder. Our mouths slide together, sloppy and hot and it’s only long moments later that I pull back, breathless from you.
I’ve not had the best of luck with these words, but looking into your eyes now, I have to give them to you. “I love you, Karl.”
Karl: I know my eyes must have gone as dark and dazed as yours look, overwhelmed by the lust and love I feel with you. I lick my lips, tasting you on my mouth, and I'm not really conscious of where we are, just how I feel when I'm with you.
"Fuck yes, Sean. I love you." I tighten my arms around you, wanting you closer, touching you to make sure you're real, stunned that somehow my luck changed and I have you. You loving me back is like a miracle and I've got to get my hands on you to make sure I'm not imagining it.
Our mouths meet again and I'm trying to pull you into my lap, but the table gets in the way and I raise my head, realising that I've just opened my heart up in the middle of a pub. Good job, Urban, not very romantic. I grin and shrug, noticing that we both have fresh drinks and wondering when that happened. The world shrinks down to just two whenever you touch me.
But some pressure that I hadn't known was there till now goes away and I've got a fucking loopy smile on my face, but my eyes are lit by what I'm feeling, by what I see in yours, reflected back at me.
Sean: You grin, and just the way you’re looking at me sends a rush of warmth over my skin, fills me inside with that same heat. Your eyes are on mine and I can’t look away, lost in this, yet another discovery of how brilliant you make me feel. You’ve become the reason I’m happy here, washed right over every barrier I had in place to keep me from getting hurt, again. Your heat and your fierceness, your caring and strength, all have reached inside me and left your mark, and I feel so grateful for having that, for having you.
You have my heart, and right now, looking at you . . . “Christ, you’re gorgeous.” And you are, inside and out. Your hand is still on me, and mine on you and fuck, the things you bring out in me. I want to get closer to you, but like before the table is in the way, and there’s too many eyes about for what I want, though we’ve not drawn much attention being tucked in the back of the pub. My hand slides up your chest, fingers curling into your shirt, pulling you as close as I can mange. I brush my lips over yours, then draw back, wanting you to see everything, what you’ve started in me, what I want, what’s yours.
“Let’s get the bloody hell out of here.” I say, voice rough, wanting you to know how much I need you, and I don’t worry about that at all, because you make it all right. “I need you, so fucking much, love.”
Karl: "Brilliant idea." We get the server to settle the bill, but find out that Viggo left us a present. Most of my aggravation with him vanishes, for that was a kind gesture. He can keep loving you all he wants to, but I'm the one who bloody well has you. And maybe if he hadn't said what he had, I wouldn't have faced the way I truly feel about you.
"We owe him one, " I murmur, not talking about the drinks exactly, but I'll explain that to you some other time. "Maybe we should throw him a bridal shower."
We walk out of the Firkin, holding hands until we get to your Rover. I pull you to me and then press you against the truck, our bodies fitting together and I'm already breathing hard when our lips clash together. I rest my head against yours when we come up for air, my chest working hard for breath, because you take mine away. Your heat lights an answering fire in me.
"Anything you want, Sean. Anything at all. I'm yours . . . completely." And that's never been the case before, but for you . . . I'll hold nothing back.
Sean: You press me against the Rover and I give myself over to this, us, to the feelings moving in me. I push against you, definitely not trying to get away, definitely not, but wanting to bring us closer. My arms wrap around you as your mouth meets mine and I let you in to take it as far and as deep as desired. When you pull back we’re both panting, and everything about you feels more intense than it ever has, your mouth, your chest heaving against mine, the look in your darkened eyes.
Your words, the tone of your voice, all touches me as surely as your hands, a heated stroke moving over my skin, moving inside me and fuck, but I want you. “Karl,” I manage huskily, looking into your eyes, lost in them as you bring our faces close together, and feels as if you’re looking right inside me, into my heart. Bloody hell.
My hands moves up your back, feeling your strength under my hands through the layers of clothing. I rock against you, restlessly, still caught between you and the truck. Bringing our lips together again, I kiss you slowly, stroking your mouth, then pulling back for a quick breath only to dive back in. Your fingers curl into my hair and I growl, melting against you and you press your advantage. You don’t need to press very hard, I open under you, inviting you in to taste my need.
I’m craving you, ready to have you or be had, right here, but when we finally break apart and your breath is warm against my mouth as I whisper roughly, “Come home with me.”
Karl: Heat goes through me like lightening and if I thought we were intense together before, nothing prepared me for how I feel now. You taste like fire and I'm starting to fucking drown in the desire and the want, fuck, I never knew I could want anyone as much as I want you now.
We pull apart again, and I trail my fingers down the strong sharp bones of your face, feeling all your textures. "Yeah, I'll come home with you." I smile. "Told you I'd be the stray you couldn't get rid of, you're stuck with me now."
I don't want to let go of you enough to get my bike, so we somehow make into your truck without unwinding. I think about the bike, but then forget about it. Chris knows me well enough ever since I jumped in when the gang tried to kill his bartender. It'll be fine to park it here overnight.
Once we're in the Rover however, I can't keep my hands off you and we try to sink together again, until we both laugh, realising that we're too big to be trying this in here. I get settled in my seat, but I keep my hand on your neck, rubbing a little, playing with your hair.
My voice is ragged with need. "We'd better find a bed . . . or something." I'm not heaps picky at the moment, just want enough space to get naked with you.
Sean: Your touch alone has the power to undo me, and I’m bloody well tempted to pull you back outside again. But the thought of making love to you in my bed, of having your spread out, naked, with nothing but the long night ahead of us, gets me jamming the key in the ignition and starting the car.
You keep your hand on me all the way home, and fuck, I feel like it belongs there, on me. By the time we make the short trip, I can’t guess how I’ve not cracked the car up or gotten pulled over for erratic driving. I pull the Rover up alongside the house and turn it off, reaching for you. We share a hard, wet kiss, my mouth slanting over yours and it’s only the necessity for air that has me pulling away, but only so far as to mumble against your slick lips. “Want you so fucking much.”
You surge against me and I welcome your hunger, match it, opening my mouth and growling as your fingers hold me tight about my neck. Finally, we pull away and climb out of the Rover, making our way to the house between kisses and gropes. At the front door I fumble with the keys, barely managing to get the right one in the lock and pop it open as your arms slip around me from behind. The feel of you pressing against my back, my arse, has me melting back into your embrace, lost. Turning my face, I nuzzle your neck. “Want to make love to you, Karl.”
Your arms tighten and I pull your hand to my mouth and kiss your fingers, your palm, the inside of your wrist. “Want to give you anything you want, love.”
Karl: By the time we get to your house, my balls are aching, my chest is aching, I'm too full of everything I feel for you that it's starting to overwhelm me. I fell so hard and so fast for you, that sometimes it scares me, but right now, when you're touching me, when I can touch you, when I see the same need in your eyes that's in mine, all the shit I've been packing around just flies away and I know, again, that I'm safe with you.
"I want you to make love to me, want you touching me. Fuck, I need to be naked with you." I gasp at the feel of your mouth on my wrist, the place you sensitised with your fingers earlier, in the pub. I moan, losing it to you, giving up everything to you, my loss of control, my wild lust for you, the love that seems to want to burst out of me.
"Please, Sean. Fuck, I'm lost. Help me."
Your hand is steady on mine as you guide me up the stairs and I'm fucking clinging to you, because I told you the bloody fucking truth, I can hardly see, I'm getting that inundated with the feelings racing through me. And I let go of a lifetime of never admitting to any weakness, cause I'm not afraid of letting you in, letting you see the things I've kept hidden.
I'm starting to shake, but I find your mouth, your beautiful talented mouth and I ground myself in your taste, the familiar feel of you on my tongue. Your hands are on my clothes and I help you as best I can, but my fingers have gone clumsy with nerves and anticipation.
Sean: I’m not sure who’s shaking more, you or me, but between the two of us we get your shirt off. It slides away, revealing your bare chest and my eyes move over you. “Gorgeous,” I whisper, hardly noticing that I’ve spoken at all, and the love, longing and lust owns me right now. I slide my hands over your shoulders, down your chest, mapping skin, the muscle beneath, and I want to pleasure you, make you moan with it. I want to hold you close and feel the tremors run through you, to let you take from me what you want, because you’ve already given me so much.
Your hands tugs my shirt open as I get my mouth on you, licking and nipping my way down your body, and closing my mouth over your nipple, I suck, gently. You press into me and I growl, wanting more. Dropping to my knees before you, my trembling fingers work your jeans open, easing them off. Looking up at you, feeling more in this moment than I can almost handle, I wrap my arms about you, pulling you close, letting you see the truth of what I’m feeling in my eyes, hiding nothing.
Pressing my cheek against your belly, I rub against you, letting you feel my slight stubble before moving down to nuzzle your crotch, to run my tongue along your hot cock that’s standing up proud and hard, and all for me. Christ. My hands slide over your arse, fingers trailing, slipping up and down your cleft, gentle and teasing.
You’re beautiful and mine, and I guide your hand to my head, grinning up at you. Your eyes are shaded dark, hair tousled, and I want to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt. I lick my lips, then slowly move up and suck your cock into my mouth. I just hold you inside for a moment, then pull back, swirling my tongue about your tip, savoring the taste of you.
Karl: Your hands on me pull responses from me, wordless moans and cries as you touch me. Your whiskers rake across my belly, leaving tingling behind. I spread my legs, partially to get my balance back and partially to give you better access to whatever you want from me.
Your hot mouth closes around me and I throw my head back, gasping and moaning, struggling for control, struggling to keep myself from ramming down your throat. But you're ruthlessly working me, your tongue twisting around my shaft, your hands gliding over the sensitive parts of my ass, and it's a pointless struggle because my control was already lost before you ever got my clothes off.
My hips thrust forward, mindlessly, as I look down at your shining head, caught by the sight of you taking me in, your lips wrapped around my dick. I can't stop myself, but you encourage me, your hands push me and I give in to the pleasure of having you suck my cock.
It's rising through me, feelings I can't hold back, the orgasm that you're demanding of me. "Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come."
"Sean . . . " My voice is tight and strangled as I let go.
Sean: The sounds you’re making cut right through me, and fuck, but I’m craving you. I have all night . . . all night to do nothing but touch you, pleasure you, love you, and that’s the only thing that’s keeping me together. Relaxing my throat, I open myself to you as much as I can, and you thrust in, fucking my mouth and I want it, want you to shake apart in my hands. Gripping your arse, I urge you on, and when your fingers curl into my hair the tug pulls a moan out of me.
I want to answer you when you say you’re close, want to tell you to give it to me, but with my mouth full all I can do is hum around your cock and tighten my grip on you, cradling you. Your hard steady rhythm changes, goes harder, faster, just shoving in and I take you, moaning as your fingers tighten suddenly in my hair and your cock jerks in my mouth.
My throat works as I swallow you down, hands holding you tight and your body goes ridged with your release and in spite of my hunger for you, a deep sense of satisfaction settles over me, knowing that I’ve given this pleasure to you. Pulling back, your cock slips from my mouth and I lick my lips, swiping up your come that I wasn’t able to manage.
Slowly I come up, my hands never leaving you, pressing kisses to your heated skin as I go, glorying in the tremors I feel running through your body. Holding you close, I kiss your lips, just letting you feel me as you come down. “Bloody well amazing,” I say, smiling, reminding myself that we do have all night, that you’re not leaving me.
Karl: You hold me while I fall endlessly, your hands warm on me. When you finally release me, I take a deep shuddering breath, feeling drained. My taste in your mouth brings a whimper and though you've just brought me a crashing good orgasm, I want more. I hold you tight, coming back to myself, loving the way we fit together.
I back up until I'm sitting on the bed with you between my knees. I put my face in your belly, resting against your muscles, feeling the steady rise and fall of your breathing. The emotion hits me again and I tighten my arms, knowing I must be close to crushing you, but I want you so badly, want to be with you, don't ever want to let you go.
Your hand rests in my hair, stroking gently, soothing me, reassuring me, letting me know that you're with me, and you're not going anywhere. We're together. I relax my grip finally, and turn my mouth onto your skin, my tongue flicking out to circle your belly button, then sucking lightly on the small indent. My fingers work to get your jeans open and then I rub my face on the golden hair of your treasure trail, humming a little, happiness replacing uncertainty.
My hands are firm on you as I push your jeans away, down over your rounded buttcheeks, my hands tingling from the contact with your beautiful body. Together we get you out of your jeans and then I sit back for a moment, my hands moving over your strong thighs, looking at the sight of you so hard for me. I look up at you finally, letting you see how much this is affecting me.
"Beautiful." I nuzzle your cock, taking a taste of you and purring again, before looking back up at you. "Anything. I'm yours. Completely."
Sean: My breath rushes out at the touch of your hot mouth. You look up at me with such passion moving behind your beautiful eyes, and I have to touch you. My fingers sift through your hair, brushing it back from your face, slipping down to cradle the back of your head. Urging you up, our bodies slide together and the heat radiating off you feels amazing. You feel amazing, and I lean in for a kiss, wanting your mouth, but on impulse press my lips to your forehead instead.
My hands cradle your head, just holding you as I scatter warm kisses over your face, before finally slanting my mouth over yours. The kiss smolders, goes long, hot and deep, when I pull back at last my breath is coming fast, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Need you . . . need to be inside you, love,” and my voice is rough with desire as I push you back on the bed. You go down smiling, and I climb over you, grinding down with my hips, letting you feel what I want to give you. I’m hard and burning for you. You’ve lit a flame inside . . . you are the flame inside, and I need you to get closer.
We rub together, trading hot, wet kisses that leave me growling until finally I roll to the side, pulling you on top. My hands rake down your back, greedy for the feel of your muscles as I spread my legs and shift under you. Absently I reach out to the night table and switch on the lamp. “Want to see you,” I pant, snagging the lube from the table too.
I push up against you, gasping as my cock glides against your skin, and I’m lost in you, falling further by the second. My hand settles on your hip, gripping hard as my other kneads your arse, pushing you down on me, fingers slipping along your cleft. “Want you stretch you, love, want to watch you ride my cock . . . ”
Karl: Our mouths together, warm and wet, I could kiss you forever, I think. Your hardness against me feels so good and my dick's starting to respond to you again.
When you put me on top, though, and say that you want me to ride you, I realise that you're asking me to actively participate in taking you in my ass, instead of letting you push into me. I discover that it's something different, something I'm not entirely sure about, but your fingers are already probing me, pushing in and retreating. And I'm opening for you, my body in agreement with you, while my mind was still working things out. You rub a finger over the sensitive nerves in the puckered skin, making the muscles in my pelvis clench as pulses of lust ripple out from the contact. I'm shaking again, wanting this, wanting to sink down onto you, wanting you as deep as you can possibly go.
"Want that too." My voice is husky with the impossible craving you invoke in me. I hiss as your fingers go deeper, partially from the burning, partially from the throbbing in my cock that your move causes. I'm caught, and my body is happy about it. I stop thinking and let myself feel. A fucking huge part of why I'm here with you is that I trust you, trust that you'll make it feel good, trust that you'll care for me.
My body is taking your fingers in now, and I know you've added a third, your fingers stretching and opening me. I spread my legs, pushing back against your fingers and my moans have turned into small pleading cries. "Please, I want you. Need this."
Your lips travel over the tense muscles of the arm that I've planted on the bed to balance as I move with you. I quiver at the feel of more lube on my asshole, as you smear it around, dipping into me. Your hands are on my hips guiding me, and I feel you against me, the blunt tip of your cock.
With a groan, I push down, gratefully sinking onto you until our bodies meet and the feeling that I wanted so badly . . . the feeling of you filling me, your cock sunk into my body, fuck . . . I grip your hands, meeting your eyes, panting.
Sean: Your heat engulfs me and I gasp with the pleasure of it, my fingers laced with yours tightening hard. “Karl, god,” I moan, undone by you. My body surges up, and though my cock is buried deep inside you, I want more. I thrust, a helpless ragged rhythm that’s driven by desire and the pure need to just get inside and be with you.
I struggle to get a grip on myself, chest heaving as I try and stop from spending too soon. Looking at you, my beautiful lover riding me, I’m taken with emotion and fuck, but I want so much . . . I have so much with you. You move on me and I moan, uncaring how needful I sound, because I am needful. I plant my feet on the bed and take you, my cock sheathed inside your tight, velvet body and you’re burning me, taking me someplace else where there’s only your body and mine, slowly driving one another higher.
“Karl, christ . . . love you so much,” and looking into your eyes, joined with you like this, I’ve never felt closer to anyone.
You’re giving me so much, your body and your heart and I hope I’m worthy of both. We move in tandem, and I manage to keep from just taking you, but let you set the pace, let you decide how hard and how fast. Sweat has broken out over us, your skin is shining with it, your lean, beautiful body working hard, loving yourself on me. My mouth is open, panting for air and I’m giving you my moans and my cock, giving you myself and the pleasure is complete in me, but I need more.
“Come for me, love, come all over me, let me watch.” I slip a hand from yours and reach for your cock, pulling on it slow and steady as you ride.
Karl: My body is beyond my control, I'm moving on you, squirming back and forth, finding where it feels best, and fuck . . . this feels good. I find the place that strikes sparks behind my eyes, and I cry out with the feeling. Finding a rhythm that is going to push me over soon, I'm shocked at how easy this is, how free I feel, riding your cock like this. You meet me and we move together, every stroke sending me higher.
You put your hand on my cock, and you've learned how I like it over the weeks we've been together, and we're both working me now, you on my cock and me on my asshole. Your long beautiful dick scrapes across my gland and your hand is relentless and I can't help doing what you ask, giving a hoarse cry of completion, bucking harder on you, driving myself down as far as I can go.
I'm spurting endlessly over you, your other hand pushing me down while I clench around the length of you sunk so deep in me, I feel you with everything I've got.
I want to collapse on you, and I'm shaking again, but I want to feel you coming inside me, want your juice dripping out of me, proof that I'm yours, and I don't know why I need it, but I want evidence of your love all over my body.
When I get my wind back, I start moving again, watching you intently, wanting to see every expression on your face, wanting to watch you lose it and fill me.
"Love you."
Sean: You’ve driven me beyond words, again, and there’s nothing but the sounds of our harsh breathing, of our bodies slapping together. Nothing but the moans and the grunts as I buck up into you and you give me your most intimate embrace as your inner muscles clench down around me. You’re coming and proof of your pleasure spurts out over my fingers that milk you for every drop. I revel in the feel of it hitting my chest and I’m so close it hurts.
The scent of sex is heavy in the air and your eyes are on me, that fierceness I love sparking in the darkened depths and I’m in sensory overload. I release your spent cock, hand going to your hip, thrusting up I pull you down, working myself so fucking hard just to get to you. You move with me and I’m moaning, crying out with the hard driving joy of our lovemaking.
Abruptly it happens, my body can’t take anymore and my eyes are locked with yours as my cock pulses, sends my come flowing deep in your arse. The pleasure starts in my cock and spreads everywhere, running up my spine and out every nerve ending, tingling the bottoms of my feet and curling my toes against the mattress. Finally I give in and close my eyes as my body finishes the ride, at last collapsing back on my pillows, panting and spent.
My fingers are tangled with yours as I slowly drift back to awareness, I feel the heat of you still on top of me and I think that I’ll always want to be tangled with you. You’re resting against my chest and my free hand is smoothing over your back, and christ but you’ve become to mean so much to me. I don’t want you to leave me, ever, and it’s not until I open my eyes to find you watching me that I realize I’ve spoken out loud.
Karl: I see it when your eyes go blank, when your muscles convulse under me, and I don't think I've ever seen anything so fucking beautiful as you shooting your come into my ass. I watch as you slowly relax again, your face, the face I love so, easing into serenity.
My legs are cramping, I'm unused to being in this position, and you still look utterly blissful. I ease up gradually, wincing as your cock leaves me, and I know now what you've meant when you've said you'll be feeling me. Cause I'll be feeling this fucking for a while. No, not fucking. Not with you. Lovemaking. Fast, hard and passionate, but still lovemaking. I smile, feeling peaceful and at ease with myself, the doubts and insecurities that usually plague me gone, erased in the protection of your love.
I stretch out half on top of you, curling against you, trying to get closer as your hand moves over me. Your voice is a low, indistinct rumble, but I catch the words and they fill my heart, making me realise again how much you care about me. And it lets me know that maybe I'm not the only who doubts himself.
"I don't intend to, not ever." I know that I can't swear that we'll be forever, that shit happens, but fuck, I never want to lose you. "You've given me so much . . . acceptance and friendship over and above all this. It matters so much to me, cause I've never felt like this, fucking not ever. Don't want it to end."
I rub my face against you again before I can stop myself, the marking thing I can't seem to bloody well stop doing to you. I smile against your skin, turning it into a kiss and then meeting your eyes again, happily.
Sean: You rub your cheek against me and I pull you closer, smiling, because the move has become so familiar, and it feels so good. I feel the warmth of your lips again and then you raise your head, looking at me and I grin, because you look content and happy, and that it’s me that’s given you that . . . well, that reaches way down and fills me with many things. Pride, happiness, disbelief.
Gliding my hands down your back, I move against you a little, getting comfortable, getting closer. Our sweat damp bodies slide together and it’s unreal how I can never get enough of you. I pull you up beside me, getting you settled on my pillow and I don’t say anything for long moments, but just look at you, here, mine, in my bed. Leaning close I press a kiss to your temple, just above your eyebrow, then another to your lips, just to feel you, to make sure you’re real.
Brushing your hair back behind your ear, I draw back, but only far enough to look into your eyes. “Don’t want it to end either, love. It’s so easy to love you, I just . . . let go of myself with you like I’ve never done with anyone.”
Words are crowding me now, and I’m surprised, though I shouldn’t be. You’ve drawn so much out of me, that I need to give you even more shouldn’t seem unusual. “Fuck, Karl . . . ” My hand smoothes over your shoulder, slips down your arms to take your hand in mine. I look down at our fingers, curling together. “You’ve gotten in me, deep.” Lifting my gaze, I smile, a little breathless with this, with you. “I love you. Hope I never disappoint you.”
Karl There's something bloody brilliant about just our hands together like this and I smile again. I'm feeling a bit wrung out, something you seem to be able to do to me, whether it's the intensity of our lovemaking or the endless way my body responds to you. I push my head further into the pillow, getting comfortable, watching you, lipping your skin a little.
"You do the same thing to me, fuck, I've let go of so much and I've never wanted to give anyone as much as I give you. But I'm a stubborn git, so we're bound to get wobbly with each other sometimes. But disappointed? No, can't see that happening."
Leaning forward, I find your mouth, my tongue seeking, slowly and carefully mapping your contours, gentle now with satiation. You taste so good, familiar and warm, your own taste. I pull my lips away, but just barely, so that all I can see is one green eye and when I speak my mouth flutters over yours.
"I love you and the only way I'll ever be disappointed is if you try to send me away."
Our arms wind around each other again, and we pull in close together, bodies touching all the way down, head to toes. With small kisses and light touches, we speak lover's words, full of warmth and drowsy laughter, our bodies resting quietly, touching still, always touching.
Sean: Your words touch me as surely as your mouth, your hands, and I sink into you, accepting and wanting, content. Reaching down I pull the blanket up and we curl together, my arms going about you and your hands resting on me. After a time of sleepy kisses and touches, we settle under the blanket, tangled together the way we always seem to end up.
So much has happened so fast with you, but now everything slows. Your breathing evens out and for a while I just listen to the steady rhythm, until finally reaching out for the lamp. I have to pull away slightly and you murmur in your sleep, quickly shutting off the lamp I fall still, letting myself drift in the warmth of contentment and brilliant tiredness.
You sigh in sleep and I smile, not far from sleep myself. So much so fast, and now you mean so very much and I’ve no intention of letting you go. We are tangled together, and in more than body, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, not now that I know you, not now that I’ve learned what you mean to me. My eyes slide shut and I slip into sleep, my arms still wound tight around you, always touching.
NC-17
