horseboykarl

Karl: I finally get a chance to go by the bookstore; it is cleaned up at last, but Eric is still dealing with the insurance company and it won't be open for another few weeks. And I realize that I haven't fixed the whole problem yet. The fanboys haven't been around in the last few days, but there's still the matter of payback. I'm tired of them fucking with people I care about.

So I decide to take a trip to the Firkin. Maybe Gareth would be willing to help me with this job. And I feel like I owe him an apology. He can't be happy about having his shift back.

I ride over there about dinner time and I smile listening to his patter with another customer.

"Hey barkeep! I'm hungry, what's good?"

Gareth: "The pad thai at Siam's." I grin as I come over to yeh, it's been a while since yeh've been in for a drink. "But if yeh ain't too particular, Cook's bangers an' mash ain't bad, least for somebody who learnt everythin' he knows about Brit food watching Coronation Street. Shall I put in an order for yeh?" Yeh nod, an' I poke my head back to holler at Cook. "An' for the thirst on yeh, a black an' tan, I suppose?"

As I pour yer stout, I give yeh a careful once-over. Looks like yeh been scrappin' again. "I do hope the other fella's lookin' a worse sight than yeh are." I top the Guinness wi' the Smithwicks an' slide the pint before yeh. "I hope it was paparazzi tryin' to snap yer photo, an' yeh was goin' all Sean Penn on 'im." Just really doan wanna hear was those fuckers that attacked us, or Sam's Da. "But yeh're still walkin', guess tha's all yeh can hope for, righ'?"

Karl: I take an appreciative drink of the beer. "The other fella, well, that's quite a story in itself and you may not believe it."

I decide I'll apologize first and ask for help next. "Look, I'm sorry about inflicting your shift on you again, but I had to do it. My friend, the guy I brought to your show, his place got wrecked by those punks, and I wasn't gonna let anybody else suffer."

Gareth: Only a sip a' yer beer, an' yeh're already talkin' shite. "My shift? Yer friend? Eric, was it? His place got wrecked? Fuck, is he okay?" I know I'm batterin' yeh wi' questions, but I really doan have a clue what yeh're goin' on about. "Sooo ... what exactly are yeh apologizin' for again?"

Karl: I realize that I don't know whether your shift is type to bust through all the time like Théodred or whether you have a polite one who waits to be called.

"The shifts are back, everybody has their alter egos back. I moved the bowl back, with some help. Horseboy is back in my head. I just wanted to apologize for doing that to you, cause I know you weren't keen on the elf."

Gareth: I canna help it -- my jaw drops open in disbelief. An' then I shake my head vigorously. "No, man, the elf's gone. He ain't been back for weeks. I ... I would a' known." Wouldna I? I mean, fuck, wouldna I've felt somethin'? Wouldna Martin've rung me? Even now, just thinkin' of him -- which I admit I been so busy I ain't done too much of lately -- shouldna I feel somethin'?

Just at that moment, Cook rings the bell tha' yer order's up, an' I head back to the kitchen to pick it up. Before comin' back out, tho, I stop for a minute, an' close my eyes ... Oi, Elladan, are yeh there? Can yeh hear me? ... but there's nothin' other'n my own thoughts.

It's wi' kinda mixed feelin's tha' I pick up yer order an' set it on the bar in front a' yeh. I'm happy as Larry tha' the elf's still gone, but I canna rejoice too much if yeh're still afflicted wi' yers. I pour yeh another pint as a peace offerin', settin' it down as yeh drain the last of yer first glass. "No, the elf's still missin'. But sorry abou' yer horseboy. Is he goin' crazy on yeh again?" Kinda makes me appreciate the elf, he never left me wi' bruises, tho guess that's no worse than tha' kinky brother bond.

Karl: I don't understand. "You mean you can't reach Elladan? That doesn't make any sense, everyone else I know of got their shift back when we put the bowl back." Plus a few extras, but I don't tell you about Ian, since I don't know if you've ever even met the man.

"Dave has Faramir back and Paris has Théodred again . . . " And I could go on through the list, but you are shaking your head.

"Well fuck . . . I guess I don't have to apologize to you after all. How'd you get so lucky?"

Gareth: I canna do more'n shrug. "Man, I doan know. I mean, I doan know how I got stuck wi' him in the first place, seein' as I weren't in the fuckin' movie or nothin'. Maybe whoever's in charge a' this whole thing finally figured out they'd made a mistake?"

But that's bollixed abou' the rest of yeh. I wonder if Bernard's told Jay yet ... but no, surely he'd a' said somethin' if he knew. I better get him to ring his Da, make sure he's alrigh'. But I can do that later; now I need to be seein' to yeh. "So wha' yeh gonna do, wi' Eric'n all? Is he okay? He didna get attacked wi' yeh, did he? Gotta say, Karl, he was fuckin' hot. Little old, little on the hippie side, but then so are yeh." I wink to show yeh I'm just messin'. "Yeh ain't gonna let horseboy go fuckin' that up, are yeh?"

Karl: I wonder how you can possibly think there's actually anyone in charge of this fucking mess . . . but it's good you're not shifting anymore.

"No, Eric wasn't with me. The bowl was at Craig's . . . " I look at you, but you seem to know what I mean, so . . . "And Dave moved it to his place, that's what cut off the shifts. But it's also what sent those punks on a rampage. They trashed Eric's store and left a little calling card, like what was on those bats. I moved the bowl back to Craig's with a lot of help from some friends, including Jay's dad, and the shifts came back." I shrug.

Gareth: "Wha'? Yeh mean Bernard was in on that too?" Yeh nod. "Karl, is he okay? He ain't as banged up as yeh are, is he?" I grate my fingers across my skull. Fuckin' hell, tha' crazy old bugger doan need to be gettin' involved in all this mess.

Karl: I frown. I didn't see Bernard or Ian when I woke up . . . Éomer said that he had been worried about Gandalf, until Ian shifted back and was unhurt, but he didn't seem concerned about Théoden when we talked, so I assumed he wasn't injured, or if he was, it wasn't serious. "Bernard’s shift showed up too, to finish the fight, but I don't think he was hurt, not badly anyway. His shift's a pretty fierce fighter, so I think he was all right."

Gareth: Fuck. Well, I guess that answers my question about whether Théoden's back. But it leaves a whole lot more unanswered, along wi' a really tight feelin' in my chest. "Karl, yeh gotta excuse me a sec. I gotta ring him..." But I'm back through the kitchen door before I even let myself think about who "him" is gonna be. If I ring Bernard, he might not care to share all a' what happened. But I ain't gonna ring my boy, not knowin' any more'n I do, he'll just fret.

In the end, I punch in the number an' hold my breath until he answers. "Bernard? It's Gareth. Listen, Karl's just here tellin' me some stories ..."

A few minutes later I make my way back out front. "Bernard's fine. Just got a little banged up, but he's feelin' pretty proud of himself." Tho I doan know how long tha'll last, once Jaybird starts in on 'im. "Feelin' good enough to invite me an' Jay over for dinner, anyway. Christ I hope it's not that eggplant again."

Karl: I smirk, cause Bernard knows me too well to try that vegetarian shit on me. We always try for something we both can tolerate. "Good to know he's alright, but really, if he had been hurt, Éomer would most likely have told me. Hope you enjoy the eggplant." You tease me, I tease you.

But . . . the shifts aren't what's really on my mind tonight. "And now I still have a little unfinished business with those assholes that have been running wild these weeks. They'll pay for messing with Eric."

Gareth: Uh oh. , I recognise tha' tone in yer voice; yeh're lookin' for vengeance. An' sure why wouldna yeh, in a way yeh've been attacked by those fuckers twice now. "Just what've yeh got in mind? I wouldna mind seein' 'em get taken out, all the shite they've been pullin' lately. But I do hope yeh got a plan an' ain't just goin' in half-cocked. They're some tough bastards." An' I ain't got the elf to help me out now.

Karl: You have a good point, and I wonder what it would take to convince you and Jay to help me. But one thing at a time.

"Gotta find them first. That's where I was hoping you could help me. Your band plays an awful lot of clubs, maybe you could see if you could find out where they're from, how many of them there are. Recon, you see? You're right, I am too old, nobody would talk to me if I asked about them . . . but you might have a chance. What do you say?"

Gareth: "Believe me, man, we're all keepin' an eye out for 'em. They killed one of our mates, an' I told yeh how tha' one fucker -- not the ones attacked us, but the really tough one, he jumped our fiddle player." An' fuck me, but if the shifts are back, that bastard probably is too. "But the problem is, by the time yeh see any of 'em, it's usually too late. I'm happy to let yeh know what I can find out, but if yeh're goin' huntin' yerself, best be careful. Yer scars are sexy an' all, Karl, but seriously, yeh're teeterin' on the edge a' excess here. Yeh got yer actin' career to think of."

Karl: I've had enough of them fucking with people I care about . . . and I know people have gotten killed. I don't care what it takes, they're gonna pay. I'll figure out what to do about them when I find them.

"Just let me know if you find them, that's all I'm asking. Maybe I'll just put the plods on them." I wink at you, hoping you don't see how deep my anger goes.

Gareth: "Yeah, the plods've been so useful in this whole thing so far. They got no clue what they're dealin' wi'. An' whoever tells 'em'd better have their bags packed, cos they'll be tucked into the nuthouse in nothin' flat." I clear away yer empty plate an' wipe down the bar in front a' yeh, eyein' yeh steadily the whole time an' prayin' yeh'll attend to the seriousness of my words. "I'll help yeh, Karl, I owe yeh tha'. Fuck, yeh saved me life, an' I won't forget that. But just promise me yeh won't jump into nothin' withou' knowin' all yeh're up against, alrigh'?"

Karl: I smile. "Don't worry, I plan on knowing exactly what I'm up against . . . and then I'm going to deal with them." My eyes grow cold as I think about what they deserve. I'm not sure exactly what I'm capable of dealing them, other than the beatings they deserve, but we'll see.